allison's blog

pet peeve of the day:

2010-06-02T08:27:00.001-07:00

Grocery cashiers that are idiots.

I'll start out by saying that I am more obsessive-compulsive than most people are when it comes to how my groceries are bagged. If I can help it, I always place my items on the conveyor belt in this order: all frozen things, all refrigerated things, all non-refrigerated food, and all other items. It makes me look silly when I discover a lone pack of frozen vegetables hiding underneath something and lunge to give it its rightful spot in the 'frozen goods' section up at the front so it doesn't get lonely, but it makes me feel immensely better to do so. Not to mention, the temperature separation method, while you would think it would be elementary, does not seem to be a priority for any store employee I have ever encountered, so I'm forced to take matters into my own hands.

Today, I managed to get all of my groceries up in the proper order. LaShundria, my trusty cashier, did not seem to be in any sort of hurry. I mean, she was bagging at a snail's pace (while having a conversation with the guy working the next lane). If you're doing crappy work in return for speed, I can maybe forgive that... but she was not even remotely paying attention to what she was doing. I could have climbed over the counter, figured out how to work the register, and bagged my own groceries in half the time it took her.

Also, she put approximately 5 items in the bag with my bread and eggs, while a bag of CHIPS got its own entire Target bag. LaShundria, I would like to explain to you something: that bag of chips is 75% empty. It's basically a giant air bubble. In fact, I hear Amazon is going to start using chip bags to cushion their packages instead of those clear bags of air. (Not really, but I should suggest that. "This package brought to you by Doritos!" It could be a great snack food marketing idea.) So why does the bag of chips get to be all by its lonesome while there are water bottles crushing my eggs and bread? It seems to me like LaShundria may have been discriminating against my choices of inexpensive, marginally healthy food by trying to ensure that the chips would be the only thing edible by the time I got home. Well, it DIDN'T WORK. I will eat my bread smushed and my eggs cracked, and I will throw my chip bag down and stomp on it. That'll show you. (Okay, not really.)

Thoughts on masculinity: specifically, how to preserve it while selecting your figure skating costume.

2010-02-16T17:29:00.000-08:00

I like to pretend that Olympic athletes read my blog. So I'd like to provide any male figure skaters that may be perusing this during their free time in Vancouver with a helpful scorecard to help them determine the answers to one of life's toughest questions.

How manly is YOUR costume?
You are wearing pants: +5
You are wearing a shirt: +5
Shirt has an asymmetrical hemline: -1
Plunging V-neck: -2

V-neck plunges below your belly button: -5
Chest hair protruding from plunging V-neck: +3

More than 20% of the fabric in your costume is pink: -2
Sequins cover more than 30% of your outfit: -4
Sequins are in the shape of something manly, like a sword: +2
Sequins are scattered randomly throughout the fabric to give you that all-over fairylike glow: -1
Your pants have cargo pockets: +3
Cargo pockets are holding your keys, wallet, and/or a Swiss army knife: +1
You are from Switzerland and acquired your Swiss Army knife there: +4
Cargo pockets are holding Chap-Stick: -2
You are wearing a necklace: -3
Your necklace has multiple charms dangling from it: -1

Your shirtsleeves are SHEER: -4

Your costume contains ruffles: -1 point for each ruffle

Ruffles are pink: -1 additionally for each

UPDATE, 2.17.10

I was just informed of THIS. As a result, I have added several categories to the score sheet.

THE WINTER OLYMPICS

2010-02-13T14:07:00.001-08:00

There's no question about why we like the Summer Olympics. Watching the most talented athletes in the world run track and jump on the trampoline and swim at the speed of light is exhilarating. But I've been realizing lately that the appeal of the Winter Olympics is completely different. Don't get me wrong, these athletes are incredibly talented, too. But I think the reason we like to watch the Winter Olympics is not because of the sheer physical strength of the athletes, but because we think, "hey, I could do that!" A few examples:

1. The bobsled and the luge. Obviously competition gets pretty fierce on these. But if you think about it, 95% of the sport involves sitting very still while the vehicle you're in plummets downward of its own accord thanks to gravity. There has to be more skill involved than that, I'm sure, but never having attempted either sport myself, how do I know that I don't have those skills? Until proven otherwise, I'm going to be mad at my parents for not raising me in a snowy environment with a bobsled track in the backyard, causing my hidden luge talent to go undiscovered for 22 years.

2. Curling. Right, so this is my favorite sport ever. The first time I turned on the TV and watched it, I thought they were spending an abnormally long time filming somebody cleaning the ice rink with a broom. I'm still kind of fuzzy on what the object of the sport is (it's been four years since I watched it -- yes, I'm fickle and only watch winter sports when the Olympics come around), but it's hilarious and awesome and I can't wait to see more of it.

3. Ice dancing. There's no doubt that figure skating involves a heck of a lot of skill. But something I've never understood is ice dancing. Yeah, so it focuses on musical interpretation and flair, blah blah. Translation: it's the easy version of pairs skating. I'm pretty sure whoever invented this sport probably dreamed of being a skater but couldn't land his/her triple Axel to save his/her life. I hate to break it to you, ice dancers, but you are far more boring to watch than the other skaters.

Side note: I have been skiing at Whistler, which is the mountain outside of Vancouver where the outdoor events are taking place. So when you watch the ski jumpers, just imagine me in their place and you will have an accurate portrait of my high school ski trip.

shopping: it gets weirder every day.

2010-02-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

I needed a study break this afternoon, so I left the library to run a couple of errands. First, I went to Best Buy. The purpose for my visit was multifold; I needed a new pair of headphones, I had a $10 gift card that had been in my wallet since December, and I wanted a particular CD that I wanted to see if they had in stock. Next, I was going to go across the street to LifeWay because I wanted a new Bible.

part I: Best Buy.

Being under no pressing time constraints, I figured I'd spend a few minutes leisurely wandering through the CD aisles and also check out their headphone options. Immediately upon my entry to the store, I was accosted by a friendly employee with the offer of help. Now, anyone who has ever been shopping with me or known me longer than five minutes probably knows that I despise offers of employee assistance. I want to shop by myself, and I don't want someone following me around. I cheerfully told him "No, thank you," and walked toward the headphone area. On the way, I got distracted by a large display of cell phone screen protectors. I spent five minutes scanning the shelf to see if they had one for my phone (they didn't). Before I even made it to the headphones, someone else asked if they could help me find anything. "No thanks, I'm just looking," I told him, a little more forcefully this time. I could drag this story out, but I am just going to say that I spent probably 20 minutes in the store, and during that time was approached by FIVE DIFFERENT EMPLOYEES begging to help me find something. One guy told me I should buy a new cell phone. (I was looking at iPod earphones. What?) The last guy even said, "You've been looking a long time! What can I help you find?" Now, if I had been glued to one spot for fifteen minutes, this remark may have been warranted. But I had not. I'd been wandering through various aisles for several minutes, stopping at no particular place for any significant length of time. Needless to say, after approach #5, I got out of that store as quickly as possible. For future reference, though, in case anyone reading this works in retail, I would like to provide you with a helpful reference guide.

FIVE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LEAVE ME ALONE:

1. I am not blind. I would estimate that 96% of shoppers at Best Buy, and really at any store, have the goal of buying something that they have either bought before (CDs, movies, books, batteries, etc.) and know exactly where it is located, or they are buying something that is extremely easy to locate (TVs, laptops) and housed in an area of the store labeled by large signs.

2. I am not buying something that requires multiple opinions. I'm sorry, blue-polo-shirt Geek Squad guy, but I do not know you and therefore I do not trust your musical taste to help me select which CD I would like to listen to while I clean my kitchen tonight. No offense intended, but this is a highly personal decision. As are the earphones I choose to wear. Sure, I could entertain you with the saga of how it's really hard for me to find ear buds that fit in my ears because they are really small, and how Apple's are really the only ones that stay in, and those clip-around-the-outside ones always just fall off because they're like three times the size of my ear, but I honestly don't think you care, or know anything about the difference between the $30 and the $10 models, or would let me take them out of the package and try them on because that would be some kind of health risk. So it's nothing personal, but I'd like to make my own decisions about these things. If I were buying a computer or a TV it might be different, but if you noticed (which you probably did -- I felt like you were all stalking me) I steered very clear of those departments. Also, if I were buying something that I felt needed a second opinion, I would have brought someone else with me and you would have heard me discussing it with them. I'm already deducing that next time I come CD shopping I need to bring someone along -- preferably a linebacker who is at least six feet, four inches tall and who looks like he could take out the Geek Squad in one fell swoop. We will both be wearing dark sunglasses and I will have on six-inch spike heels. You will know not to mess with us.

3. If you leave me alone, I will be far less aggravated and far more likely to spend more time in your store -- therefore making more purchases. If you follow me around like a pack of lonely puppy dogs, I will want to get out of there as soon as possible, and I will buy my CDs from more evil places like Wal-Mart or iTunes.

4. Have you really ever accosted someone who was rummaging through the $5 DVD bin and convinced them to buy a new cell phone from you, right now? Hmm. Right. I didn't think so.

5. It makes you seem desperate. Haven't you ever heard that girls only want guys that are unavailable? The same principle applies to store employees. 99% of the time I want to be left alone, but on that rare 1% of times that I do need assistance with something, it is always in a situation where there is not an employee to be found for miles around. (Luckily this will not be a problem in the future -- with my six-inch heels and my linebacker companion, top shelves and heavy boxes will no longer pose a threat.) Save your energy for the TV shoppers and the laptops that need fixing, Geek Squad. I don't need you. I'm geek enough to buy my own earphones.

part II: LifeWay Christian Store.

My goal upon entering LifeWay was solitary: to find a small, thin Bible that I can carry with me when I go to church or Bible study and not have to lug my huge Life Application Study Bible that I love dearly but weighs like, 10 pounds and does not fit in my purse. I wish I had read this before I went, but I was able to find one pretty quickly regardless. It went much more smoothly than the Best Buy experience, but I still managed to get list material out of it. No offense to any Baptists or any devoted shoppers who frequent this store once a week, but it's really weird.

FOUR WAYS IN WHICH LIFEWAY CREEPS ME OUT:

1. Strange music.

I like hymns as much as the next person, but what's with all the flutes? At the register, a large sign proudly proclaimed, "Like the music you're listening to in the store?" and had an arrow pointing to a stack of CDs entitled something like "Top 20 Hymns: Celtic Music."

2. Strange candy.

Right, so I must have missed the verse where Jesus tells us not to eat the chocolate of the world. Because the only types of candy and gum they sell at LifeWay are called things like "Scripture Mints" or "Bible Chocolates." I certainly have no problem with incorporating faith into all aspects of life, but I am also a little wary of what kind of candy is hiding underneath all that Scripture. Is there something wrong with a Snickers bar? Right now, I'm about to eat a Dove chocolate. Tastes delicious, and there are lots of doves in the Bible. I think I made the right choice. (It's kind of like cheering for the Saints in the Super Bowl, right -- can't go wrong if God is on your side. That was a joke, in case you couldn't tell.)

3. Holiday themes.

Valentine's Day is in the air. You'd think a Christian bookstore would be immune to it, but that is not the case. Pink heart decorations abounded, and every display in the front of the store was filled with couples' devotional Bibles and the movie Fireproof and books based on the movie Fireproof and pink tablecloths. Towards the back of the store, there was an end-aisle display for single people. I picked up one of the books and looked at the table of contents. It was some type of Christian girl's guide to being single. Each chapter was themed after a different fairytale. One of them was something like, "Rapunzel: Avoiding Loneliness." Another one was about Tinkerbell and was entitled something about fairies getting squashed. No, thank you.

4. Clearance Bibles. Sounds great in theory, right? After I had selected the Bible I wanted, I noticed there was a different shelf of 50% off clearance items, and there seemed to be quite a few Bibles on it. I flipped through them, wondering if there were any good ones on sale. There were, actually. They had several that were almost identical to the one I had picked out -- for half off! Exciting, right? Until I removed the box lid on the first one and discovered that it was monogrammed with someone's name. No. I am not joking. Apparently if you get your Bible monogrammed and they misspell your name, or you decide you don't want it, or you never pick it up or something, it goes on the 50% off rack. I'm not sure what the goal is. I mean, sure, I could pay twelve bucks for a bible with "Jasmine Elizabeth Williamson" or whatever monogrammed across the cover, but people would think I stole it. And what kind of person steals a Bible? If it was 90% off I might consider it, but half off? Maybe they're counting on someone with the same name coming in, but I don't know that the odds of that are favorable. I wanted to ask the cashier if anyone ever bought those, but I didn't want to offend her -- she was at least 60 and looked like she probably didn't have much of a sense of humor about these things. In fact, I'm pretty sure she was thinking, "that girl is wearing skinny jeans and looks like she may have dyed her hair recently... she does NOT look Baptist, has probably not seen Fireproof, and is going home right now to blog about this." (She was right... I am guilty to all of the above.)

thoughts on nociception, the anterolateral system & other such painful things...

2010-02-04T16:09:00.000-08:00

Ironically, as I sat on my couch to study yesterday after taking a break to cry my way through ten or twelve Kleenex, I realized I was learning about pain. It’s funny how a medical neuroscience course can boil something like that down to a PowerPoint presentation. Twenty slides on pain and temperature receptors, nerve receptors, and sensitization effects. The next day, sixty slides on the anatomy of the spinal cord tracts corresponding to this system. And boom, we know everything there is to know about pain. Did you know that something stimulate pain receptors in your skin, muscles, joints, or internal organs, your body automatically activates two separate analgesic or pain relief pathways that fire neurons to release norepinephrine and opiate compounds to lessen the amount of pain you are feeling? It’s kind of amazing.

I consider myself pretty lucky that I’ve never experienced any sort of intense physical pain. I broke my arm when I was 10 or so, but I honestly don’t even remember it hurting that badly. And sure, I’ve had the occasional headache and backache or twisted ankle as much as the next guy, and I’m definitely a wimp about it, but I’ve never had to experience the physical things some people have to go through – I’ve never been shot or stabbed, never broken a major bone, never gotten struck by lightning, et cetera. So it seems really great and everything for me to sit here and talk about the body’s natural pain relief system. But what do I really know about it? And who’s to say that what is incredibly painful to one person may not be as much to another? There’s no way to quantify it. We are taught to ask patients to rate their pain on a scale of 1 to 10, but again, it means nothing. (Although here’s another pearl of knowledge: women are known to have a higher pain tolerance than men. It’s thought to be that way so we are more prepared for childbirth. Interesting, no?)

Have you ever heard of “psychosomatic” pain? Historically, patients who were depressed complained of body pains that were dismissed for years by doctors. But it is now known that depression results from a deficit in serotonin or norepinephrine, two neurotransmitters. The deficiency of these two neurotransmitters can have widespread effects on the brain and nervous system, one of which is to make the analgesic pathways less effective. The same two chemicals that put you in a good mood are the ones that alleviate physical pain.

There’s one other method your body uses for pain relief. The activation of mechanical receptors coming from the same area of skin as the pain signal actually sends your brain a signal to inhibit the pain pathway. So physically touching or rubbing an area of skin that hurts actually does make it better. Maybe the concept of “healing touch” isn’t so crazy after all.

I know you’re expecting me to make some type of elaborate metaphor comparing emotional pain and somatic pain. But does it even need to be made? Are they really that different? As I said earlier, by no means do I claim to understand physical pain. Likewise, I am not going to pretend I’ve experienced as much emotional pain and heartbreak as most people in the world probably have. I do like to think, though, that I can find some comfort from what I’ve learned about the body and apply it to the intangible as well. Because, just like a scraped knee or a punch in the gut, it’s going to heal. With time, and lots of hugs, it’s going to get better. Not right away, and there will probably be scars for awhile, but the body has a remarkable ability to keep on going even when horrible things happen to it – and I’d like to think the same is true of the person inside the body.

let me know that You hear me
let me know Your touch
let me know that You love me
let that be enough.
.switchfoot

I'm glad my university email account is used for such productive means...

2009-12-19T07:54:00.001-08:00

A recent email I received, entitled: To all Starcraft enthusiasts at South Alabama!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Josue Ricardo Morales Cifuentes" <jrm605@jaguar1.usouthal.edu>
Date: Dec 15, 2009 7:01 PM
Subject: To all Starcraft enthusiasts at South Alabama!
To:

Gaming enthusiasts,

Although there are many challenging video games to master out there, only a
few rival the difficulty and breadth Starcraft Broodwars requires. Complex
game mechanics and engaging battles make this RTS not only engrossing but
delightful as spectator e-sport. Several students at South want to start a
University Student group that discusses, plays and enjoys the art of
Starcraft, thus, we would like to see if there is preliminary positive
reaction to this message. Interested parties should email Josue Morales to
jrm605@jaguar1.usouthal.edu for more information.

Good Game (gg),

Josue Morales
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The above message has been approved by University administration for
transmittal to student accounts.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2009-12-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

I have never been to New York. The city remains a mystery to me that exists only in the land of television and movies. I have begun to notice something lately that is rather mystifying. In TV-land New York City, there seems to be an endless supply of young, beautiful, and single people -- to the point where on every single episode the characters have new significant others. On a show like Sex and the City it's not so much of a stretch to me -- after all, they are four beautiful women that wear designer clothes and seem to spend every evening at bars, nice restaurants, and elite parties. Plus, there's a lot of overlap - one character will date someone for several episodes. Carrie Bradshaw probably spent most of the series agonizing over three or four serious boyfriends that she had. What really mystifies me, though, is Seinfeld. None of those characters seem to ever be single. Okay, so I'll buy it with Elaine and even Jerry (he's a comedian, after all), but is New York really full of that many single and desperate women that Kramer has a different girlfriend every week? Here in Alabama, it's taken me the better part of twenty-two years to find one boyfriend, and short, balding, unemployed George Costanza probably snags twenty beautiful women per year. Either the island of Manhattan is some kind of fantasy land, or I'm missing something.

greeting card identity theft?

2009-11-18T16:06:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago, I received a rather strange e-mail. It was from the friendly electronic greeting card company bluemountain.com, and it was thanking me for registering with them. Of course, I had done no such thing. They also addressed the email to Allison somebody else (I can't remember the last name but it was definitely not mine.) Apparently this person had used my email address to sign up with her greeting card company. "That's strange, and slightly annoying," I thought to myself. A few minutes later, I started to realize that Allison was having quite the busy evening sending e-cards, because I got another registration email from the American Greetings website. And then she sent one. Since they thought she lived in my computer, they sent me a copy of the card. I stared at it for a minute, thinking that it would be wrong to read someone else's correspondence, but of course I couldn't resist. One nauseating music-box style song and some chirping birds and bouncing flowers later, my heart was warmed by her heartfelt thank yous to someone named Joy for being such a good and encouraging friend. Was this wrong? I don't know. I felt a little guilty, but when you type in someone else's email address (someone whose name doesn't even resemble yours) to register for a website, then you're kind of asking for it. At least that's my perspective.

Fast forward to tonight. I seem to have been the victim of yet another unrelated email greeting card confusion. I received a copy of someone named Allison Lott's belated birthday wish from Aunt Cathy and Uncle David. I saw that the message was copied to both my address and a Baylor college email, so I'm assuming they just got confused and that this girl who is hopefully a Baylor student got her birthday card. So obviously, curiosity got the best of me once more and I clicked on the card. And let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. PLEASE look at this. I'm sorry, Aunt Cathy and Uncle David, whoever you are. I'm sure you meant well. But this might be the worst and creepiest card I have ever seen.

Happy Belated Birthday Allison!

I'd like to conclude with a public service announcement to the Internet users of the world: Please, please use your own e-mail address when sending greeting cards, because if you steal my identity and they get sent to me, I cannot be held responsible for any invasions of birthday-wishing privacy that may occur. Thanks and have a great day.

congratulations...

2009-10-03T15:52:00.000-07:00

... to Andrew for winning the book. Sorry -- I wish I had enough to give one to all of you that entered! But all of you should definitely buy the book because it's awesome.

a friendly reminder

2009-10-02T08:36:00.001-07:00

you can still win the book... today's your last chance to send me a story! i'm kind of sad because i haven't gotten very many entries. (so your chances are very good!) it doesn't have to be long. heck, it can be three sentences if you want. e-mail or comment it to me by tonight.

A MILLION MILES IN A THOUSAND YEARS [book review & giveaway]

2009-09-29T04:55:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine posed a question to me a couple years ago that has since become a favorite conversation topic of mine with many different people. “In the movie of your life,” she wondered, “what actor would you choose to play you? What about your best friend? What about your love interest? What songs would be on the soundtrack?” It’s fun to think about, isn’t it?

Donald Miller begins the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by writing about when two film producers approached him with the idea of making a movie based on his memoir Blue Like Jazz. His description of the screenwriting process is fascinating. Although the book is taken directly from Don’s own life, the movie is to be a fictional portrayal of the character Don. The struggle he faces is unique: turning the events of his life into a cohesive story that grabs an audience and wraps up in two hours, and along the way coming to terms with the fact that his life is, frankly, quite boring. When Don asked one of the producers if people would be bored if the movie showed his life the way it happened, the reply that came was “I think they’d stab each other in the necks with drinking straws.” But really, all of our lives would probably be pretty boring if they were made into movies. “Life is slower [than film],” he writes. “It’s like we’re all… waiting for something to happen, and every couple months the audience points at the screen and says, ‘Look, that guy’s getting a parking ticket.’”

How many times have I daydreamed about my life-movie? The more I thought about it after reading the first few chapters of A Million Miles, though, the more I realized that the movie in my mind is based on a completely fictional life – one where I wear designer shoes and look like Reese Witherspoon and fall in love with someone who has a British accent, with a charming indie-rock soundtrack following me all the way. But let’s face it, Reese would probably not sign on to do a movie where her character sat around and studied most of the time except when she was taking naps or watching television or e-mailing a friend. If I wanted to make my life into something anyone would pay nine dollars to come watch, it would take some serious editing.

So, most of our lives would not make very exciting movies. What do we take from this? To me, the rest of the book after the initial setup served as a personal challenge. Don weaves elements of his own story in with parts of many other peoples’ to illustrate that the most fulfilling parts of our own lives are those where we made choices to create our own stories; when we consciously point ourselves in a new direction. We’ve got to take risks, we’ve got to learn from other people, and we’ve got to create memorable experiences. Because when you look back on your life, I’m sure you don’t want to see it as one endless cycle of sitting around and eating food and watching television and going to the gym. You’ll want to look back at the time you rode your bike across the country, or took a risk and pursued a relationship with someone, or jumped off a cliff. “There is a force in the world that doesn’t want us to live good stories,” Don writes. “It doesn’t want us to face our issues, to face our fear and bring something beautiful in the world.” We have to overcome our complacency in order to live a bigger life.

This was one of those books that I read at the perfect time. It seemed like every chapter spoke to me directly and encouraged me to live just a little differently. It’s definitely one I’ll keep on my shelf and pull out again sometime soon and I’d highly encourage all of you to read it.

Here’s the exciting part. I got this book from the publisher, Thomas Nelson, and they sent me an extra copy to give away to a friend. So I’m going to give it to one of you. All I’m asking is that you tell me part of your story – something memorable that has happened to you, whether it is funny, or sad, or even if it’s a little bit boring. You can leave it in a comment or e-mail it to me at allisonlott [at] gmail.com. On Friday, I’ll pick someone to win the book. Have fun – and I’m looking forward to hearing your stories.

top five jobs i would rather have: wednesday edition

2009-09-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

1. the person who smashes up all the makeup to photograph it for magazines. i think there would be something very therapeutic about pouring out a $55 jar of powder and then smearing a Chanel lipstick across a page. and getting paid for it.

2. game show host. everyone in the world perceives you as a genius when really all you have to do is read a teleprompter. maybe i could take over for alex trebek when he retires? i think "jeopardy host" would look rather impressive on my resume.

3. poet. i wonder how much money william carlos williams made for that red wheelbarrow poem? i could write that in four minutes flat. also, i would not be required to use capital letters, something in which i am clearly not in the mood for today.

4. homeless person. it worked out okay for this girl... and i don't see her slaving away over a pathology textbook until all hours of the night. win/win. and i could get free medical care by just going to my neighborhood ER every time i got a headache, right?

5. the person who writes the labels for vitamin water. i could SO be funnier.

musings of a disgruntled narcoleptic.

2009-09-16T06:53:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago, I switched to a new Blue Cross/Blue Shield insurance policy. Because I had been uninsured previously for a few weeks, I was anxious to get some more of my narcolepsy medicine because I had run out. So on September 1st, the day my new insurance policy began, I be-bopped on down to my neighborhood Target pharmacy in order to pick up my prescription. However, the pharmacist had some disappointing news. "You need prior authorization from your physician's office," she informed me. So I called my physician's office. They cheerfully agreed to call Blue Cross and provide authorization. So, a few days later, I checked back with Target. Bad news again. "We spoke with your doctor's office, and they provided authorization, but for some reason when we try to run it through it still says this drug is not accepted. Maybe you could try to call the insurance company and see what the problem is."

A couple days after that, my parents got a letter in the mail from Blue Cross saying that approval had been verified for the drug. Great, I thought. Maybe it just now went through. So I tried again with Target. Still rejected. Finally, yesterday, I called Blue Cross. After a long and confused conversation with a very friendly yet clueless BC/BS representative, we managed to pinpoint the problem that had been confounding every party involved for the past two weeks. Here's the deal: The drug I am taking is called armodafinil, manufactured under the trade name Nuvigil. There is no generic for this drug; only one company makes it. The Huntsville Hospital Sleep Center had given prior authorization to Blue Cross for me to take armodafinil. Target had been trying to run it through as Nuvigil. Between the physician's office, the pharmacist, and the insurance company, not one of them could figure out that these two different drug names, in fact, were the same thing.

Now, this seems like a pretty ridiculous problem. I don't even know to whom I should direct my incredulousness. Okay, perhaps the doctor's office should have provided both names for the drug in their correspondence with the insurance company, I'll admit that. But Blue Cross obviously has a distinct policy regarding this drug because of the fact they specifically required previous authorization for it, so I'm not sure why their system would not recognize the two names of the drug. Also, isn't it a pharmacist's job to know that drugs generally have a compound name as well as a manufactured name? If this was a common problem, would they not have automatically checked both names? I'm wondering how often things like this happen and go unnoticed, or how many patients think that insurance is not covering their medication when it really is. What a dumb problem to have.

spelling bee winners: where are they now?

2009-09-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

courtesy of toothpastefordinner.com

higher education, technologically speaking

2009-09-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was remembering back to the world history class I took my freshman year of high school. Each afternoon during fourth period, I'd bring my navy blue Five Star spiral notebook to class, I'd sit down in my alphabetically assigned seat, and I'd take notes for fifty minutes. Straight notes. There was no PowerPoint, there were no laptops, and there was no downloading of anything from the Internet. I paid attention for those fifty minutes because there was nothing else to do. I wrote a lot down; I'm sure I had my fair share of hand cramps. Occasionally my teacher would give us a handout with a very general outline of the topics for the day if we were learning something particularly confusing, and we frequently had map handouts to better visualize all the European countries and empires that were constantly changing throughout the centuries. It was a lot of material, and it was really hard, but it was manageable. After all, what we could learn was limited to the amount of material that could be conveyed (and written down) in fifty minutes a day, five days a week. The rest of my teachers at good old GHS all worked pretty much the same way: there were either straight handwritten notes or outline handouts. We all liked the outlines, of course, because they were friendlier to the fingers and there was less of a chance that if you dozed off for a minute you'd miss something major.

Fast forward to college. A lot of my classes worked the same way, but a lot of the teachers had begun to use PowerPoint slides instead of outlines. This was not a huge deal; thanks to Samford's generous free-printing-for-all policy, we'd stop at any one of the several conveniently-located computer labs around campus and print the slides out before class, taking handwritten notes on them in the same way as we would for an outline.

Fast forward one more time: medical school. With the exception of a few professors who still provide printed handouts, PowerPoint slides are the norm for presentations. This is perfectly fine with me. However, it kind of concerns me a little bit because I feel like technology is destroying some of the checks and balances on education that were previously in place. Here are some examples:

1. With PowerPoint, there can be a much greater volume of material taught in a short class time. Efficiency at its best, you say? Not exactly. With a nearly unlimited amount of hard drive space at their disposal, educators no longer have any incentive to remove extraneous information and keep it concise. In addition, it's all too easy for them to breeze past several slides with only a brief mention of "you can memorize this one on your own time." One of the lectures in my otherwise-very-well-taught class at Tulane this summer was - wait for it - 251 slides long. Two hundred and fifty-one slides for a three-hour lecture on the female reproductive system. Is this necessary? Absolutely not. I'm not trying to be a whiner and say I don't like to learn; in fact, just the opposite: I learn a lot more from a concise, well-organized lecture than a sprawled-out, unfocused one that takes up an entire binder by itself when printed out.

2. Organization falls by the wayside when material is presented in a slide format. While great for presentation, slides are crummy for putting smaller pieces of information together in the big picture. Outlines put information into perspective and highlight the relative importance of different topics. Slides are like pieces of a puzzle, and even if they are in order, it's difficult to see the big picture when you're looking at boxes on a page.

3. Since our notes are given to us in a digital format, it should mean that we have a myriad of options of how to take notes and study, right? In a sense, that's true. Last year, our lectures were usually posted the night before to allow people to print them if they so chose. This year, however, the lecture files are often not posted until the teacher walks into the classroom five minutes before lecture is scheduled to begin. I prefer to annotate the PowerPoints during class on my computer using Microsoft OneNote and then print them out later to study, so normally this is not a big issue for me (unless we're having class in the hospital where there are no power outlets - but that's a different story). But it is a major annoyance for those who prefer to print their notes. I see no reason why this is necessary. I highly doubt the professors are scrambling to put together their PowerPoint files at 8:55 in the morning before class at 9, so I see no other explanation (other than laziness or forgetfulness on the part of our dear educators) why they could not be posted the night before, or at the very least earlier that morning.

Don't get me wrong; I think technology is amazing and I'm glad professors have such modern methods of distributing information and lecture materials to students. But there's something to be said about the checks and balances that existed a few years ago - when teachers' enthusiasm to impart large amounts of knowledge was balanced not only by a very real limit on the amount of paper available, but also on the speed of their students' scribbling fingers.

Happy September, everybody.

it wasn't me

2009-08-31T05:24:00.000-07:00

i find it hard to believe...

2009-08-22T20:11:00.001-07:00

... that anyone could listen to this song and not be stopped in their tracks by its beauty.

http://www.fuelfriendsblog.com/2009/08/19/your-shoulderblade-and-spine-were-shorelines-in-the-moonlight/

I had a dream last night, and when I opened my eyes
your shoulderblade and spine were shorelines in the moonlight
new worlds for the weary, new lands for the living
I couldn’t make it if I tried
I closed my eyes, I kept on swimming
time, love
time, love
time, love
it’s only a change of time, love

(thank you Heather at Fuel/Friends for this)

a note about the "reactions" section

2009-08-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

So, Blogger is going all Facebook on us and has a new feature entitled "Reactions." I enabled it as a sort of experiment. On an average day, I have not a clue how many people read my blog, and I know most of you don't comment, but maybe some people want to check a box instead. Or something. I don't really know. You can pick what you want the check boxes to say. The pre-determined options were "funny," "interesting," and "cool." It seems as if it would be rather narcissistic of me to assume that my hundreds of readers MUST think that every blog entry of mine falls into one of those categories. I thought about making a lot of different options, like "fascinating," "hilarious," "made me want to pull my hair out," "incredibly boring," "not your best work," et cetera, but I don't think my already-bruised ego (thank you, medical school) could take it. So as of the writing of this post, you're left with two options: you can either like it or dislike it. Like Facebook, but more fair and balanced. If your opinion of my post is more complicated, leave a comment. Or pick up the telephone. Or just don't click anything at all.

"God as my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed!"

2009-08-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

This morning, I rolled into the school parking lot at 8:48, with a healthy twelve minutes to spare before class. Plenty of time to leisurely start up my computer, eat some of Liz's healthy cupcakes and Anna's cocoa roasted almonds she brought for me (SERIOUSLY. GO BUY THEM NOW. SAM'S CLUB). However, little did I know that a cruel twist of fate meant that four things were going to put a stop to my morning schedule:

a) The undergraduates at USA started school today.
b) Last year, the university constructed a ginormous Health Sciences building that is located right next to our Medical School building.
c) In the process of constructing this building, not only did they create a need for about eight thousand new parking spaces, but they actually REMOVED some of the parking spaces that were already in place for the medical students.
d) Undergrad classes start at 8. First year medical classes start at 8:30. Second year classes start at 9.

As a result, there was literally not a single parking space to be found in the entire complex surrounding our school building. After circling around for ten minutes or so, I found out that we were expected to park at the Student Health building. This is not even close. It's at least a 10-15 minute walk. And there is not even a sidewalk to get there -- you have to trudge through sand and grass and construction dirt for a good chunk of the way.

Instead of venting my frustrations, I would like to invite the rest of you who find yourself with similar amounts of bottled-up anger to consider when this happened to the good people of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Due to construction happening at W.B. Jones, their parking spaces were all taken up and they had to park down the street.

They didn't take it well either. Oscar struggles with seniority, while Andy has footwear issues:

"I've been here nine years, now all of a sudden I'm supposed to park half a mile away?"

"I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar."

Jim and Pam, meanwhile, have plenty of time to enjoy the wonders of the natural world.

"Tell them what we saw today, Jim."

"Today we saw a junkyard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken."

"Nature."

But friends, let us not be discouraged by this minor setback. If paper salesmen can solve the problem, so can medical students. Let us all look to Andrew Bernard as our guide as we work towards our goal.

"Did I do this for me? No. I did this, for the little guy. For Joe six pack. The guy who wakes up every morning in his four hundred dollar a month apartment, wonders how he's gonna pay his mortgage that month. Wonders how he's gonna fill his car up with oil. Wonders, how am I gonna pay my kids' orphanage bills. That guy shouldn't have to wonder where he's gonna park."

this is why i love america

2009-08-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

I'm going to preface this story by saying that I discovered today that McDonald's is a mere three-minute walk from my front door. There's even a direct sidewalk leading there. While this does not appear to bode well for my future health, I'd like to argue that at least I got six minutes of exercise in the process of hunting and gathering my lunch today. Also, I forgot to eat breakfast so I was EXTRA hungry. Anyways, at around 12:15 I arrived at McDonald's for lunch. There were about five people in line ahead of me so I joined the crowd. After I had been standing for a couple minutes, my attention was drawn up to the counter by a lady who, having cut to the front of the line, was barking angrily at the very nice, mild-mannered older woman behind the register. I missed the first part of their exchange, but this is where I tuned in:

customer: (at the decibel level of perhaps a sports announcer, and the annoyance level of someone dealing with a particularly stubborn small child) "All I'm asking is if those salads have fresh chicken on them or if it's just been sitting there cold on the salad!"

manager: "No, ma'am, the chicken is fresh."

customer: (Seemingly dumbfounded and disoriented by the realization that there might not be anything left to complain about, she turns around and notices the line of customers waiting as if for the first time.) "Is THAT the line to order?!?"

manager: "Yes, the line ends with that lady right there."

customer: (horrified expression on her face, as if the manager had just informed her that the chicken for the salads was obtained from the dumpster out back) Goodness, I'm not THAT hungry! (shaking head, she turns around and marches back out the door.)

I'd like to point out that the line contained exactly four people. Had Mrs. Fresh-Chicken-Only skipped the interrogation process and simply joined the line, at least two of us probably could have placed our orders by that time.

All I can say is that it least it gave the rest of us in line a good chuckle, and at least one of us something to blog about.

715: my new home

2009-08-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

^ the living room

^ the dining area (the bulletin board is only temporarily leaning there until i get a chance to put it up in the kitchen).

View Full Album

^ the kitchen. it’s very beige.

View Full Album

^ the bedroom.

^ the bathroom (shower/toilet are off to the right but it was difficult to get them in a photograph.)

five...

2009-07-13T21:00:00.000-07:00

things you can do to make your summer a little better:

1. wear something yellow.

purse, Fossil, ridiculously on sale at Macy’s. | button, national gallery london

2. see the summer’s best movie.

3. eat a piece of dove “bananas foster” chocolate.

I'd write more about these but I’m too busy eating them and I don’t want to get banana-caramel-y goo on my keyboard. They have vaguely inspired me to make actual bananas foster, which involves a flaming pan on the stove. Get ready. (Mandy suggested I should do it in my current apartment, like the day before I move out, so if I burn it down it’s no big deal, right?)

4. paint your toenails.

I’ve gone through several toenail phases this summer. There was the mostly-failed “watermelon” experiment, which meant that I now have some sweet new nail polish colors. I’m about to try this lime green shade tonight.

5. find a new favorite song. some current faves of mine:

· gavin degraw – “I’m in love with a girl”
· sugarland – “it happens”
· deer tick – “dirty dishes”
· the avett brothers – “murder in the city”

you can listen to those HERE if you are interested. happy july!

the rules of vacation

2009-07-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to me how when people are on vacation, they feel as though the normal rules of everyday living don't apply. For example, this morning I went outside to lay by the pool at Mallory's Gulf Shores condo where I am spending the weekend. I was miserably hot reading my book on the chair, so I surveyed the environment around me and decided that it was time for Plan B: stand in the pool while reading my book on the deck. I tried this yesterday with a magazine, but the pool's two other occupants, boys approximately 11 years of age, decided it would be a good idea to have a water fight about two inches behind my head. But today it looked safer - the only swimmers were all of adult age, lazily floating on the other side of the pool. So I got in the water and happily read of Julie's French cooking adventures in the novel Julie and Julia in blissful peace. For about ten minutes. That, my friends, was when Vacationing Family arrived.

For brevity's sake, we'll refer to them from here on out as the VFs. The happy young family consisted of Mr. and Mrs. VF, an indeterminate number of young-ish children, and some water guns. You know, the ones that are somehow made out of styrofoam Noodles but have a shooting range of several hundred yards. When I got my first splash, I quickly exited the pool and returned to my chair, and continued to read, lounging several feet from the water's edge. A safe zone - or so I thought. However, a couple minutes later, a HUGE splat of water from the VF childrens' noodle-guns landed on the pages of my paperback. Slightly annoyed, I shrugged it off and kept reading. A few minutes later, a similar splash hit Mrs. VF, who was lying on a chair in her swimsuit with no paper products in close proximity. She let out a bloodcurdling scream in the general direction of the children without raising her head to look their way. This process repeated itself several times - splash at my book, splash at Mom, loud screaming from Mom. Lather, rinse, repeat. While Mrs. VF was very clearly annoyed (although I can't see why, because she had to be burning up lying in the 110-degree-heat-index sun and since she wasn't reading anything, it seems like the splash would have been a welcome relief) she made no effort to reprimand her children or even suggest that they attempt to keep the violent water splashing more in the vicinity of, I don't know, inside the swimming pool and not on innocent dry bystanders.

I should also point out that during this whole event, Mr. and Mrs. VF are fighting with each other, in very shrill voices, about who knows what. Finally, when Mr. VF lit a cigar and proceeded to blow his smoke RIGHT into my face, I decided my pool hour was up and it was time to head inside. It never ceases to amaze me how little respect vacationers seem to have for the people around them. I'm sure, however, that my paperback appreciated my decision - it had taken quite a lot of abuse.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED AND OBSERVED IN LOUISIANA

2009-06-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

1. Crawfish, while delicious, are quite difficult to eat. Also, I had to suppress the wave of nausea that came over me whenever I looked at their little beady eyes and had to pull off their little legs. Eating them was definitely a unique experience. It was also an experience that lasted a long time - I couldn't get the smell off my hands for a good 24 hours.

2. I have not yet seen Brad, Angelina, Shiloh, Knox, Vivienne, Maddox, Pax, or Zahara (thanks, Wikipedia) wandering the streets of New Orleans. However, I do spend most of my time in the city inside the Tulane Medical School building, and my guess is that they do not frequent that spot often. If I do run into them, though, you as my faithful readers will be among the first to know. Right after I ask them why on earth you would name a baby Pax. I wonder if he has playdates with Coco Cox-Arquette and Apple Paltrow and Sunday Rose Kidman-Urban?

3. Cemeteries are closed on Sunday. Weird.

4. I am a really great tourist. Example: the time I dropped about twenty gold dollar coins (thank you, Stephen Marbut) on the sidewalk while running toward the streetcar. Luckily, Carrie, Jason, Mandy, and I were able to pick them all up and still catch the streetcar in time. Of course, it turned out to be a pointless endeavor because the cemetery to which it led us was closed, it being Sunday and all.

5. People are awful drivers here. I mean, AWFUL. It's the weirdest thing. Also, not only are they bad, they like to drive below the speed limit in the left lane on the interstate. It doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. I am beginning to see where Carrie gets her road rage.

6. Beignets are DELICIOUS. And if the line is super long at Cafe du Monde, wait in it anyway. The knockoffs across the street at "Cafe Beignet" are way overpriced and way not good. They're like fried bricks. And they skimp on the powdered sugar. However, the other Cafe du Monde in Metairie still serves up the same delicious food and coffee, just minus the ambiance/crowds of the original. We stopped there on our way to our test friday, and both Mandy and I made As. You better believe it will be a tradition from now on.

7. It is so unbelievably hot. All the time. At 9pm last night, after we finished our evening jog/walk, it was still 93 degrees. And DARK outside.

lousiana: a summer update

2009-06-10T19:57:00.001-07:00

I'm currently writing this from the sleepy yet charming little town of Luling, LA. When I say "charming little town," I mean, "the street this house is on is charming, but it is surrounded by a fence because the gas station across the street is a happening spot for shootings, apparently." But what's life without a little fear, right? (Just kidding. I feel perfectly safe here.)

In case anyone has not talked to me or stalked me in awhile, I'm repeating histology this summer at Tulane in New Orleans. Another girl in my class, Mandy, is also retaking the course and because she is super awesome and has really lucky connections, we are living with the Sirmon family. Mrs. Joette Sirmon is really sweet and cool to let us live in her house with her for six weeks while we commute into New Orleans to take our class. Her son, Tim, who I have never met, is dating Mandy's older sister, so that's how this all went down. Her other kids, Carrie and Steve, and their spouses all live in town and are over quite a bit and we have had a lot of fun. There are a lot of dogs around, too - Sadie lives here, but Zoe comes over with Carrie all the time and Steve drops Batman off a lot too. Confused yet? Thought so. Anyways, it worked out really well.

As far as histology - the reason we are here - it's been quite interesting so far. By "interesting," I mean that it is still the absolute most boring subject alive - but at least it's EASY this time! There is probably about 1/3 the amount of material we had to learn last semester from Bhatnagar, Kayes, et al. Not only is the material pared down to a reasonable amount for learning, it is taught so incredibly well! Everyone knows how much I complained about histo last semester and how horrible I thought the teachers were. But after seeing an organized PowerPoint taught in a cohesive manner and realizing just how easy this subject is, I am in awe that anyone even allowed those other guys to teach anything, ever. As I have told several people, I feel kind of like I failed a calculus class that was taught in Chinese, and as a result was told to retake pre-algebra. So it's not the most exciting class ever, and kind of awkward that we pretty much know everything they are teaching us, but it could definitely be worse.

Oh, speaking of awkward, did I mention that Mandy and I are the only ones taking the class? Yeah. Chew on that for a second. I need some pointers, friends, as to how I can make myself pay attention. It's kind of difficult, but obviously we have to because it is like a one-on-two tutoring session every day. Fun times.

In more exciting news, Carrie and her husband Jason are going with Mandy and I to do super fun stuff in the city this weekend. On the agenda: shopping, riding the streetcar, the Insectarium museum, something called the Pharmacy Museum (which is a bunch of old timey medical stuff apparently? yeah I'm a nerd), a super cool cemetery, Cafe du Monde (of course), seafood, and umm, probably more that I can't remember. I am very excited. I love being a tourist. Also I am excited to wear all the cute clothes I brought - I am not getting very much wear out of them because 1) I do not care to dress up when Mandy and me and one professor are the only people I will see all day. Sorry. 2) It is umm, maybe the temperature of Antarctica in our classroom. Possibly colder but I am not sure, having never visited there. I am in desperate need of a warm sweatshirt. I think I will go to Wal-Mart tomorrow and buy one. (I hope they sell them here - the outside temperature is like, at least 100 degrees with 400% humidity every day. No kidding.)

Well, I'm exhausted from my busy night - I read two powerpoints, watched six episodes of Scrubs, and ate a slice of peanut butter toast. Luling wears me out. Adios, amigos.

THIS IS RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE.

2009-05-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

The Show - Lenka

shameless self-promotion

2009-05-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

I have another blog. It is about music. I write in it pretty frequently. I am pretty sure no one reads it, and that's fine, but I think that people might be interested in some free music, perhaps even more interested than they would be reading about my life. The address of that blog is this: http://musicalmoxie.wordpress.com. Do with that information what you will.

More later. Happy summer.

snapshots

2009-05-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

Me and tori on the plane!

2009-05-12T15:11:00.001-07:00

There's a plane on the ceiling.

2009-05-12T14:44:00.001-07:00

Created with PicSay on my T-Mobile G1

Leaving on a jet plane...

2009-05-11T19:52:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I leave for England! I'm going over there for two weeks with my grandparents and my cousin Tori. I've been so stressed with school that I've barely had time to think about it until like, yesterday.

I'm still finishing up last minute packing and stuff. There was some suitcase drama earlier today. Last year when I flew over there, Delta broke the wheel off my awesome suitcase. I packed in that one but planned to transfer to my sister's suitcase when I got here to Huntsville. It turns out, however, that hers is a lot smaller than mine. So I had to cut down a lot... my minimalist packing (Kacie, if you had seen what I packed last time you'd understand) has now become barely enough to survive packing. Also, I don't want to bring a huge carry on, I just want to have one suitcase and carry my giant purse with me. This is against many people's advice, so I guess when my luggage gets lost the joke will be on me. Oh well.

I should be able to blog regularly from my phone while I'm over there. I figured out that I can take the sim card out of my phone and still use it connected to wi-fi to email and use Internet and such. So I'll hopefully keep this updated with pictures and such; stay tuned!

Testing 1, 2, 3.

2009-05-10T17:57:00.001-07:00

LEAVING.

2009-05-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

"And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

donald miller // through painted deserts

every time I turn around
something else just floated away
there ain't a single thing that I've found
with wings that decided to stay

maybe it's the place on the wall
or maybe it's the space where the phone didn't call
or maybe it's this thing in my chest
we'll know what it was by the hole that it left

now it's leaving, leaving but I don't know where
leaving, leaving, leaving but I don't know where

josh ritter // "leaving"

In a couple days, I'll be leaving Mobile for the summer. London, Huntsville, New Orleans, Huntsville again, and then back here for it to start all over again. It will be good to get out for awhile; I need a little bit of a break. I just wanted to share this song and excerpt from one of my favorite books because I felt that they both fit very nicely.

2009-05-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

It has been a really long time since I have written in here. I apologize to any of you who may have been disappointed by this brief hiatus. Medical school is not conducive to regular blogging. A few life updates:

1. I will be (sort of) done with my first year tomorrow afternoon. I'm actually not anticipating it as much as I thought I would be. The hard part is already finished, and I'm going to be studying my least favorite subject for a big part of the summer (see #2). Plus, I'm just so exhausted that I'm finding it hard to think more than a day ahead of time right now.

2. I failed histology. This did not come as any great surprise; I knew from the first day that this was not going to be my class, and I was right. I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be; I worked really hard and I think that I did everything I could have done. I have to retake the course at Tulane this summer. One other girl in my class will be taking it as well, and while I am very sorry that someone else was unfortunate enough to have this fate, it will be nice to have some company. Five weeks in New Orleans can't be that bad, right?

3. On a somewhat more positive note, I have a new apartment for next year! I filled out the application, and assuming my rental history checks out (let's hope the lovely landlords here at Robinwood have nice things to say about me... ha) then I will be moving into Cimarron Ridge on July 28th! It's a really nice complex and I have heard nothing but wonderful things about it. I am also very excited about having washer and dryer connections so I don't have to pay quarters or bum off of friends to wash my clothes. (On a related note, if anyone has a washer and dryer they want to give/sell to me when I move, you would be my new favorite person.) I'll have a little more space than I do now, and I am planning to paint my bedroom walls. Hopefully this will be my home for the next three years!

I've got an ICM test in seven hours, so I need to hit the sack.

Our Professors: A Summary.

2009-04-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

The things medical school professors do (and get away with) are absolutely ridiculous. I am realizing that I have been very spoiled all my life with excellent teachers who are competent instructors, care about the students, and want them to succeed. Well, those traits are virtually nonexistent in the medical school realm. Here are a few examples of stupid/incredible things our teachers have done.

**NOTE: To protect privacy, all names have been changed.

1. Dr. Shlincoln. Tells us on the first day of class that attendance is not required. I believe a direct quote from him was, "I don't care if you're here or in Alaska." However, when students take him at his word and actually start skipping class to go to Alaska (or, you know, to be in the library frantically studying) he starts to take it to heart. So much so that he threatens us on a daily basis that our bad attendance is making him angry and it is making him want to give us harder test questions. Which he does. When the class scores poorly on aforementioned questions, he uses words like "abysmal" and berates their attendance and study habits at every opportunity.

2. Dr. Shballard. This guy is actually a pretty good teacher. However, his darn appendix had to go and rupture right before the part of the course where he was supposed to be teaching us about the kidney. Guess what this means... Shlincoln's back! He gleefully informs us multiple times daily that "I haven't taught this since 1975!" Top it all off with the fact that his renal physiology section began the week before our hardest histology test, meaning class attendance was really low, so now Shlincoln's angry AND incompetent. This is a recipe for disaster.

3. Dr. ShVan de Waa. Does not teach us anything throughout the entire first two semesters of the course. This is fine with the class, because (see #s 1, 2, 4, 5) we have plenty of other things to worry about. According to past classes, 99.9% of everything we learn in Intro to Clinical Medicine is revealed in a group practice practical session held toward the end of the semester. Great. There's only one problem: no schedule exists for these group sessions. When and if they occur is entirely dependent on Dr. ShVan de Waa's personal schedule. We are not notified beforehand what group we're in or when we are meeting. The details will be divulged at an undetermined time in an e-mail from Dr. ShVDW's secretary. From my discussion with groups that have already met (my part of the alphabet has not been reached yet, so I'm still in the dark) these e-mails usually appear between one and four hours ahead of the time the meeting will take place. (I'm convinced it's some sort of exercise in spontaneity, like they are secretly teaching us to be able to respond to our pagers at lightning speed or something.) This would all be fine if it were not for the fact that he seems to have no concept of or access to our class schedule. I believe almost every meeting he has scheduled has required the group to miss class. Which would normally not be a big deal, but see #1. One group, for example, was scheduled to meet the night before our last physiology test. One member of the group e-mailed him (excuse me, his secretary) back and respectfully requested a rescheduling because they were all studying for the huge test tomorrow. No problem, he responded. The next day, after the test was over, the group members checked their e-mail to find a message from one of the women who works in the office downstairs reading something like this: "I have you guys scheduled as having a test right now, but Dr. ShVan De Waa is in my office right now waiting for your group to come do your ICM practice." Like I said earlier - no concept of time. Or schedules.

4. Dr. Shcohen. Has no obvious job (teaching classes, etc.). Sole function is to oversee our case study presentations that occur throughout the semester. Obviously, introducing student presentations for two hours a week is not enough to fill all of his time for which I'm sure he makes a great salary, so he has come up with other ways to fill his days. Not the least of these is "finding ways to make students' lives miserable." This includes: telling students that they do not know anything about public speaking and that their choice of standing on the other side of the room to give a presentation is unacceptable; asking ridiculous cardiovascular-system-related questions at the conclusion of every presentation just so he can answer them himself when he stumps the group; and writing test questions that could probably not be answered by the rest of the physiology faculty. Oh, but that's not all. Perhaps the most intriguing part of Dr. Shcohen is (drumroll please) the cans. Late each afternoon, he comes into the classroom and digs through the trash can. It is quite an amusing picture, considering he is about 5 feet and 4 inches tall. And he is not just skimming the top; he's digging in the trash can. To find aluminum cans. Last time I saw him, he was able to recover three. I have never been to his office, but apparently the walls and floor are piled high with his stash of aluminum cans. I have heard rumors that he cashes in these cans for recycling and uses the proceeds to fund some sort of physiology department banquet at the end of the year. I am not sure this is true, or even possible, but it's strange anyway.

5. Dr. Shbhatnagar. This man has a good heart. He really does. And he's SO passionate about histology that 56 slides per day cannot contain the amount of information he's just dying to share with us. So instead of cutting out irrelevant or unnecessary information, he uses creative methods to fit all the words he possibly can into one slide. Now, you may have learned in school at some point that pressing the "Enter" key on the keyboard begins a new line of text. This is normally used when one wants to separate two pieces of information. Sometimes, if you want to be really fancy and super organized, you can even make a bulleted list. However, most proponents of this concept neglect to mention that this method takes up SO much extra space. Why would you want to separate your text into multiple lines? Unnecessary. For that matter, why are pesky phrases and sentences necessary? No one cares about "the" and "such as" and "except." You know, silly words. Why don't we just cut them all out? And you know, I always thought the semicolon didn't get used enough. He's really on a different intellectual plane than the rest of us, one where his primary quest is to make sure as little blank space as possible appears on a PowerPoint slide. Here is an example of one such slide:

(One other technique that helps to fit more words on a page is to make the pictures as SMALL as possible. If the captions are legible, it's not small enough.)

Say hello to Calvin.

2009-04-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Calvin is my new phone. It's a T-Mobile G1, made by Google, and it's one of the most amazing devices I have ever seen.

A note about the naming of this device: I have a recent weird thing where I like to name things after Presidents. My laptop is named Millard, and my sister's guitar (which I named) is Franklin. As in Franklin Pierce. Also, my future puppy will be named Fillmore.

I got it yesterday, and I've been playing with it (AND studying histology, don't worry) since I got it. Those pictures I took of it are not that great; the G1 has an amazing camera, but ironically it does not have a feature where it can take pictures of itself. Bummer. So those were taken with my old camera. Anyways, I don't know how much you can see, but it has Gmail, Google Talk, Google Calendar, and everything fully integrated. I already was obsessed with all those things in the first place, so really it's perfect. I'm still playing with a few things and I don't completely understand how everything works, but it's pretty simple to use.

I've never had a fancy phone that had e-mail and Internet on it before; I've spent the last four years with two different Motorola Razrs, which I loved dearly but they were very simple. So this is a huge step for me. When my phone started fizzling out, I did a little research on what type to get. I knew I wanted something with more capabilities, and I could have gotten a Blackberry for a lot cheaper, but this just seemed like the most logical choice. It has a touch screen and a slide-out keyboard (as you can see in the pictures) and supports a whole lot of really amazing apps, iPhone style. If anyone's interested, I'm going to run through some of my favorite and not-so-favorite things about the phone.

Apps. The G1 is pretty much only as functional as the apps you download for it. I'm still playing around with them and there are probably some more I need to get. I only know one other person with this phone and he's been helping me out by recommending some. (thanks Gerrit, I knew you were in my life for a reason. Well, other than that whole marrying-my-best-friend thing.) So far, my favorites are:

- Locale. The idea of this one is phenomenal. Execution - not so much. I think I may take it off, actually. But the premise is that it uses the phone's GPS capability and the availability of Wi-Fi networks to determine where you are at any moment. It then uses this data to change your phone settings. For example, I have it set to automatically be on silent mode whenever I'm at school, and on "loud" when I'm at home. I also have different wallpapers set for each place. The problems with it are that it requires GPS be on at all times, which eats up your battery, and even so it still sometimes doesn't pick up location changes, which could be really bad.

- Shazam. Liz has had this on her iPhone for awhile, so most people probably know about it - but you can just hold the phone up to a source of music and it'll tell you what song is playing. Pretty straight.

- ShopSavvy. I haven't actually used this one yet, but it uses the phone's camera to scan barcodes and shows you prices of that item in different stores near you.

- WikiMobile. Wikipedia. On the phone. Can you GET any more useful than that?

- Gmail. This one comes with the phone, but it synchronizes PERFECTLY with my Gmail, which I am 100% addicted to already.

The keyboard is the one thing that's kinda annoying at this point. It is still really difficult for me to use, but I'm so glad it has a QWERTY keyboard. I'm sure once I use it a little bit I'll get quicker at typing. Also, the Chat application is being annoying today and not letting me sign on. I'm sure I'll get the kinks worked out once I really know how to use it though. I would definitely recommend this phone to anyone who is considering it.

update

2009-04-08T13:49:00.001-07:00

I decided to accept the family medicine job. I know most of you probably think I am insane, but I feel really good about my decision. Maybe I'm turning down a great opportunity, but I think I will gain a lot more from what I will be doing because I haven't had much experience with primary care at all and I'm really excited to learn more about it. Plus, going into second year already burned out would be a BIG mistake.

It also occurred to me, right after I clicked the "I do not accept" button on Vanderbilt's web page, that this means I am opening up a spot for someone else who probably wants this a lot more than I did. So that person will probably end up winning a Nobel prize for diabetes research or something, all because of my decision. (Okay, probably not, but it makes me feel better to think that.)

I'm a pretty strong believer in NOT doing things just for the sake of putting them on your resume, and although it would have looked pretty fabulous on there, that would have been pretty much my only reason for doing the Vanderbilt thing.

Thanks for your opinions, everyone. (And just FYI, if any aspiring medical students are reading this, you should for SURE apply for this Vanderbilt deal during your first year if you think it sounds cool. Apparently they are not picky in who they take.)

IMPORTANT: HELP ME DECIDE.

2009-04-07T07:53:00.001-07:00

Okay, friends and readers. I am experiencing a conundrum of what to do with my summer. Yesterday, two opportunities availed themselves, and I have to decide by tomorrow morning which I am going to choose.

1) Vanderbilt Summer Research Program in Diabetes and Endocrinology.

I applied for this program a few months ago on a whim. I did not think there was any way in the world I would be accepted - I think they might have forgotten to read the part that said I had zero research experience and 2.3 GPA. But nonetheless, I got an email yesterday saying that I've been accepted into the program and I have to notify them within 48 hours (so, 24 hours from now) whether I am accepting or decling the offer.

PROS:

a. This is a really crazy prestigious thing. I am still really confused as to why they want me. I don't even come close to qualifying for USA's summer research program. But it would look pretty phenomenal on my resume which is kind of empty right now.

b. If I decide to go into pediatric endocrinology, which is a pretty big option for me right now, this would be an invaluable experience and it would probably help me get a fellowship.

c. It might be really fun and interesting and a cool way to spend my summer.

d. It's a little more money.

CONS:

a. I have never done research, and to be honest, the idea doesn't really thrill me. It looks like they are flexible as to what type of research you do, and it can be more clinically based, but it's all very vague and I wouldn't be able to know until I selected my topic and was assigned a mentor.

b. My brain needs a break. I am not even kidding. This would be literally my entire summer, probably from a few days after I get back from England until a few days before 2nd year starts, and while it could be really laid back, that's not the vibe I am getting. I don't think it would be a good idea to go into 2nd year (which is supposedly way harder than this year) with an already-tired brain.

c. Even though it pays more, I'd have to find somewhere to live and pay for a lot more food and stuff if I was in Nashville than if I were home, so I'd probably take home less of that money.

2) Family Medicine Preceptorship.

This is a really cool program where I basically get to work in a physician's office in a rural area (probably Guntersville or somewhere else close to home) and the Family Medicine sponsors me for it by paying me $2000 for the summer.

PROS:

a. This would also look good on my resume AND give me some good primary care experience, which would be invaluable if I decide to pursue primary care (another big option).

b. I think it would be a lot of fun and probably pretty laid-back. The thought of doing this excites me a lot more than doing research.

c. Maybe I will fall in love with rural medicine (doubtful) and get to take that scholarship thing where they pay for your med school.

c. I'd get to stay at home, which is nice and free, and I'd get to hang out with family and friends on my last summer vaca ever.

CONS:

a. If I decide to go into endocrinology, it would be a lot harder to get a fellowship with no research under my belt.

b. I might be crazy to turn down the Vanderbilt thing, because how often am I going to get that opportunity?

So I don't know what I am going to do. Does anyone have any thoughts?

The rudest cashier I have ever seen.

2009-04-03T17:27:00.001-07:00

I stopped at Winn-Dixie a few minutes ago to buy a peach pie and a box of Hot Pockets. (What can I say, frozen prepared foods are my favorite.) The girl who checked me out was probably about 16 or 17. Okay so first of all, I should preface this to say that during the whole exchange (you know, the part where I pay for my food and she rings it up and cheerfully smiles as she hands me the receipt) she was text messaging under the counter. Now, I am not a person who has to have a conversation with every store employee I encounter, so not a big deal. When it came time to pay, I pulled my debit card out because I was hoping to get some cash back. I swiped the card. I entered the first digit of my PIN number, which happens to be 3. When I did that, however, the button got stuck and it typed 3 like 4000 times. This was a problem because my PIN number is not that many digits long and there are some other numbers in there too. I told the cashier something to the effect of, "I think the machine messed up." Without a glance in my direction, she said, "Yeah, you're going to have to swipe it again."

So I swiped again. I pressed 3 again. The same thing happened. I repeated this process three times. While this was happening, I was providing a running narrative, just in case she cared what was happening or that the credit card machine was broken. (She didn't.) Finally, I just said, "Well, it won't let me use the 3 button and it is sticking. I have another card I can use, though." So I pulled out my credit card, swiped it, put it back in my wallet, and looked at her. She finally looked up at me. "I'm going to need the last four numbers on your card, please," were the words she said. "You are an idiot and I can't believe you've been distracting me from my text messaging for the past five minutes," is what her face was telling me.

So I told her the last four digits of my card. Thankfully, I did not have to type them in. All I can do is hope that any future customers on Aisle 7 of Winn-Dixie do not have 3 in their PIN numbers.

caffeinated Sunday musings.

2009-03-29T09:22:00.001-07:00

I have not written in my blog in a while. So in order to quell the throngs of readers that sit on this page all day, hitting refresh for hours in the mere hopes of an update (read: in order to put off studying) I am updating.

I am currently sitting in Starbucks with my physiology. I really like this place. I know that Starbucks is all corporate and taking over the world and everything and I should support independent businesses and cute local coffee shops with my money, but let's face it, I just like it here.

One thing that has struck me as slightly odd about this place, though, is the music they play. Don't get me wrong - I love it. A lot, actually. I have yet to hear a song in Starbucks that I dislike. One time they even played Josh Ritter and I freaked out. When I walked in this morning and was waiting to order my coffee, my favorite Shins song ("Gone for Good") was playing. I knew at that moment it was going to be a good day. After that came the really excellent and slightly hilarious Iron & Wine/Calexico tune "A History of Lovers." I would count both of these as favorite songs of mine; they would both probably make the top 50. By this time, I had gotten my coffee and was sitting down with my Elle magazine to read an article or two before I hit the books. The music continued in the indie-rock genre for the next few songs; I think a Neko Case song or two was in the mix. After that, however, the music abruptly changed; I think they played an entire Frank Sinatra album, which was great for studying. It was also very quiet. Now, though, I think they have put in a Motown mix or something. And it got WAY louder. There does not seem to be any volume control, because whereas fifteen minutes ago Frank's soft crooning was barely background noise, right now some 1960s diva is blasting into my ears at an almost disturbing volume. It's all very odd. I would guess from this sequence of musical events that the employees get to put in whatever CD they want, or maybe they have certain CDs they can choose from. When I worked at American Eagle, they had a predetermined playlist that was about two hours long. It played on repeat, all day long. I still cannot hear the song "Golddigger" without having memories of folding and refolding pair after pair of jeans until I began to wish that jeans were never invented. While most of the songs were decent, I think all of us would have appreciated a little input into the music process. (There was one particularly heinous Christmas rap song that made me want to gouge my ears out. Yes, I said Christmas rap. It was about Santa Claus and it was truly awful.) So Starbucks, while I'd appreciate a little volume leveling, thank you for playing good music. I'm sure your employees appreciate it as well.

Also, an hour or so ago I talked to the cutest little boy I have ever seen. He asked me if I was doing homework. I told him that yes, I was studying for a test. He then held up his carton of chocolate milk and informed me that he was drinking coffee. I told him that chocolate milk probably tasted better than coffee. I asked him how old he was and he told me "two" and held up two fingers. At this point, his mother corrected him, saying "no, you're three, remember?" He then had a lot of trouble trying to remember how to hold up three fingers. That's got to be a bummer - just when you learn how to answer a question, your birthday comes around and messes everything up. He then asked me if I was three. I told him that I was not three anymore, although sometimes I wished I was. I think he was sad. I just love children.

UPDATE.

The music got progressively weirder and weirder (and louder and louder). But they have redeemed themselves, because they are playing Josh Ritter right now!

help!

2009-03-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

When I was in London a little over a year ago, I ate a really, really unhealthy diet. It consisted mainly of coffee, tuna melt sandwiches from EAT, large quantities of Cadbury Fruit 'n Nut bars, and Belgian chocolate shortbread scones. Most nights, Kelli and I would stop on our way home at the Tesco grocery store across the street to get a snack since it had usually been hours since our last tuna melt. She often got virtuous things to eat that were brightly colored and full of vitamins. (You know, fruit and stuff. Kelli, I hope you read this because I am making you look really good here.) I, on the other hand, always got this thing that I think was called a Belgian chocolate shortbread. It was quite unusual. It was triangular and quite large, like a scone you would get here. Except it did not taste remotely like breakfast food. It tasted like a soft and fluffy shortbread cookie. And it had Belgian chocolate drizzled all over the top. It may be the best food item I have ever eaten in my entire life.

I would like to make such a dessert. I am open to the fact that it will probably take several tries and several different recipes to reach the desired result. However, I am having trouble finding even one recipe that is similar to what I remember.

Part of the problem is the language barrier. (Yes, I said language barrier.) I would describe it as a "shortbread scone" because it tastes like shortbread and looks/feels like a scone. However, in England, a "scone" is not like our scones here, but circular and a lot more fluffy, a lot more like what we call a biscuit. I can't look for "shortbread biscuit" either, though, because biscuit = cookie. And all the "shortbread" recipes I can find are thin and dense, like a cookie. Which are delicious, but not what I want to make.

Confused yet? I definitely am. I can't believe that everyone has not caught onto how wonderful these things are and immediately spent hours trying to replicate them in their own kitchens and posted the results on the Internet for all to share.

I have found one promising recipe.

http://artandaioli.blogspot.com/2009/03/it-all-started-out-with-contest.html

I am going to try to make these tomorrow. I don't have macadamia nuts, so I might try it sans nuts and sans raspberry sauce and see if the taste and consistency are similar. If so, I can then get some chocolate to drizzle across the top. If this recipe doesn't work, though, I don't know what I am going to do. Does anyone have any suggestions? I will not rest until I have satisfied my craving. I am thinking of calling Tesco and asking for their recipe, but a) this would be expensive and b) I doubt they would give it to me.

attention: CONTEST.

2009-03-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

the inspiration.

Last week, we had a Fundamentals of Doctoring test. Don't even get me started on the overall stupidity of this class -- if the fundamentals of the medical profession mainly involve memorizing arbitrary, inane, and probably incorrect statistics in order to regurgitate them on a multiple-choice exam, then I've chosen the wrong profession. But I digress. My point is, one of the statistics we were required to memorize for the last exam was about marital infidelity. According to the PowerPoint slide we were given (no references, of course), 50% of married men are unfaithful at some point in their life. The numbers are lower for women, sitting at around 26%. When you average the sexes together, this means that on average, 38% of people that are married are going to cheat. Now to be fair, not everyone gets married, so we'll apply that number to the 95% of people that do marry. This comes out to a whopping 36%.

the study.

I am an optimist. I refuse to believe this number is true. So I'm going to try to refute it using the least scientific way possible. Yes, that's right -- I'm going to extrapolate the results to the songs in my iTunes and see if they hold up. If those statistics are correct, then over 36% of my music should be written about cheaters. Here's my reasoning:

1) Famous people have a higher-than-average infidelity rate. Have you read Us Weekly lately? Me neither, but judging from the covers I see in the grocery store, people of fame and fortune cheat on each other at a much higher rate than the general population. Plus, they are prettier -- I can imagine the temptation is probably much greater for a guy who goes to parties with, say, Jennifer Aniston and Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman.

2) Musicians are notorious for writing songs about cheating lovers. I mean, let's face it. If you are a song writer and someone cheats on you, it is going to be the #1 single on your next album. No question about it.

Assuming the above reasoning holds true, the proportion of songs written about infidelity should be higher than the actual real-life percentage of cheaters. So I am going to conduct a study on my own iTunes library by counting the number of songs that involve some sort of infidelity. This will probably take awhile. I have a lot of music. But I am curious, and let's face it, I have a lot of free time this week, so I am going to start counting.

here's where you come in.

I would like everyone who reads this to venture a guess as to what percentage of my iTunes library will fit this description. I have 4,541 songs. If our trusty FOD statistics are indeed true, then 1635 of these songs (36%) will be added to my "CHEATERS" playlist. If the true number of songs is lower (as I suspect it is) then I am never paying attention in that class again.

So leave me a comment with your guess. That means you. The winner, or the person who is closest to the actual percentage will receive a REALLY AWESOME PRIZE. It will probably take me a week or so to go through my library, so you've got a few days to come up with a really good answer.

some things to consider:

1) Did I mention this is probably the least scientific study I can think of? Because it is.

2) I have some Christian music on my computer. I would venture to say that most of these songs will not be about cheating lovers. It is not a large part of my library, but it will probably skew the results a little bit.

3) I have no way of knowing if most of these songs are about marital infidelity or not, but for the sake of this study, let's assume they are. Maybe this will counteract #2.

4) It is possible that different people would have vastly different numbers to come out of their individual music collections. Perhaps these results could someday in the future be extrapolated to a personality assessment. I'm imagining a Cosmo quiz, maybe -- "Is Your Man Faithful? Analyze His Music Collection to Find Out!"

5) Of course, this is all in good fun. May the best man (or woman) win. Also, if you don't enter my contest, I am not your friend anymore. Thanks.

UPDATE, 3/16/09:

Apparently the folks over at Paste Magazine and I are cut from the same cloth. Except their survey is slightly more morbid than my own...

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/03/psycho-killers-the-decemberists-death-count.html

ten reasons why I love 30 Rock.

2009-03-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

10. Frank's hats.

They're never the same, and they're brilliant.

9. Liz Lemon.

If you ever feel bad about yourself, Liz will make you feel better. Between her love for off-brand Mexican cheese curls and her bumbling altruism, I'm not really sure how she landed her job as the TGS head writer, but I'm glad she did. (To Pete, her producer: "Did you know that inner-city graduation rates in New York are lower than they are in the Sudan? Wait. That doesn't sound right. Maybe it was teenage pregnancy. I should really read more.")

8. How incredibly dumb the "actors" are.

I'm lumping Jenna (Jane Krakowski) and Tracy (Tracy Morgan) together in this category because it's hard to determine which one's idiocy is more hysterical. Both are caricatures of self-centeredness, and it's hard to believe either has more than a fifth grade education, but we love them anyway. Why? It's hard to say. Tracy decides to leave a legacy for his children by inventing a porn video game? Jenna performs on the show her Israeli award-winning original song entitled "Muffin Top?" Sure, why not.

7. Kenneth the page.

"I don't drink hot liquids. That's the devil's temperature!" Part ridiculous hillbilly, part omnipotent genius, and 100% committed to his page duties, Kenneth probably has the highest quotability factor on the show. The lining of his page jacket is also rumored to be the safest place in 30 Rock to hide your cash, but that's just hearsay.

6. The episode "Jack-Tor."

While I would be hard-pressed to find an episode of this show I don't like, "Jack-Tor" stands out to me as the most brilliant by far. It kicks off with Jack instructing the TGS writers (via a professional-looking video, even though he is sitting in the room with them watching it) that they need to incorporate not-that-subtle "Product Integration" for GE microwaves into their next show. Liz and the staff are outraged. (I won't spoil what makes this so funny, but be forewarned that there is a man in a giant Snapple costume involved.) When they write the sketch, they ask Jack to guest-star as a GE executive. Hilarity ensues. Meanwhile, Liz discovers that Tracy is illiterate. (Or is he?) It's truly top-notch comedy. I can watch it over and over.

5. The guest stars.

What do Jerry Seinfeld, Jennifer Aniston, Salma Hayek, Gladys Knight and the Pips*, and Steve Martin have in common? That's right. They've all guest-starred on 30 Rock.

*this episode, obviously, concludes with a cast-wide musical theatre-style rendition of "Midnight Train to Georgia." And it's awesome.

4. Jack Donaghy.

When you were a kid, I bet you always wanted to grow up to be GE's Executive Chair of Television and Microwave Oven Programming. Well, Jack Donaghy has achieved this dream. He works on the 52nd floor, has a hard-working assistant and an assortment of beautiful girlfriends (Beyonce, Condoleezza Rice, Salma Hayek, etc.), and powerful political connections. In fact, he even served in the Bush administration for a short period when he was almost ousted from his GE position by his archenemy, Devon Banks. Never fear, though; he was able to overcome the odds and return to his position of power. He's a marketing genius, too. Anyone remember SeinfeldVision, in which Jerry Seinfeld's likeness was captured from the hundreds of hours of Seinfeld programming owned by NBC and inserted into every program aired by the network? It's amazing what computers can do these days.

3. Dr. Spaceman.

It's an honor to the medical profession that we are able to include Dr. Leo Spaceman (pronounced "spa-CHE-man") as one of our own. I want to be him when I grow up. At the end of season 2, when Liz discovers Don Geiss passed out in a diabetic coma, Dr. Spaceman comes to the rescue. After regretfully informing Jack that he can't inject something into Geiss's heart because "there's no way to know where the heart actually is," he ponders whether to call 911 or 411. Luckily, he is able to ask the 411 operator for "New York, diabetes repair?" We could all learn a lesson from this man. The NBC staffers keep him awfully busy, too; between acquiring Tracy's growth hormone pills and rationing flu shots so only the rich employees get them, he must never get a moment's rest.

2. The not-so-subtle political humor.

Political satire is obviously one of Tina Fey's strong points, as evidenced by her SNL portrayal of Sarah Palin this past election season. 30 Rock is no exception. Perhaps the best example is in the season 2 episode "Subway Hero," where Jack can't find a celebrity to represent the Republican Party at a McCain fundraiser he is planning. He tries to convince Tracy to do it. At first, Tracy is unsure. "I can't vote Republican!" he exclaims. "That's letting my people down!" But after a "We Didn't Start the Fire"-induced nightmare in which he finds himself in purgatory with Richard Nixon, he is convinced. Together, Tracy and Jack come up with a new campaign method - and a rather unorthodox one.

THIS BLOG SPACE WAS PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO RE-INVADE VIETNAM.

1. The way NBC shamelessly makes fun of itself.

Product integration. Comedy sketch writers. Executives with enormous salaries. Ridiculous reality shows like "MILF Island." I'm glad NBC has a sense of humor.

If you are a member of Netflix, the first two seasons are available to watch online for free. Do it. I'll see you in a couple weeks after you are able to unglue your eyes from the computer screen.

2009-03-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

1. This past weekend, I went to Birmingham for concerts. I am kind of obsessed with live music, if you couldn't tell. Kacie, Liz, Alan, Kendrick and I went to see the Cardinals at the Alabama Theatre on Friday night and I loved it. Our seats were in row T, which is kind of far away, so that wasn't awesome, but it was still a really good show. I have decided, however, that it's pretty close to impossible to be prepared for a Ryan Adams show. He has so much music that you have to be a die-hard fan to know all of it. They put on a great show, however. The gorgeous encore of "Oh My Sweet Carolina" was more than worth the $46 I paid for the ticket. The Blitzen Trapper show on Saturday (at Bottletree, my favorite venue ever) was pretty phenomenal as well. I highly recommend their music if you have never heard it - it's really infectious and I feel like it would be hard to find someone who would not love it.

Also while in Birmingham, I went to Samford and laid out on the quad and printed like 200 pages for free in the library. I kind of miss that place.

2. I impulsively bought a harmonica yesterday. I am really awesome at playing it. I am not even exaggerating here. If you want to feel really musical and good about yourself, buy a harmonica. Learning to play guitar is really painful and it sounds like crap for the first month or so and it is really discouraging. But within 10 minutes of picking up the harmonica, I was able to rock a mean "Jingle Bells." It's also kind of a fascinating instrument. Did you know that breathing in and blowing out produce different notes? Crazy. I'm still working on the whole not-hyperventilating thing, but give it a few days and I'll basically be ready to join a band. When I get a little better, I plan to buy a little bit nicer instrument (although the $5 version is working out quite well for me at the moment) and one of those neck holder things so I can play hands-free. As Liz remarked yesterday, I could play the harmonica and drive at the same time! How awesome would I be then?

2009-03-01T21:28:00.000-08:00

I am LIVID right now.

Last night I came home to my apartment around 10:30 and noticed that the carpet in my room was wet. I was annoyed because this happened a couple months ago, and it had been some type of leak from the apartment next door that had come under my floor and gotten everything soaking wet. It was the biggest hassle in the world - they ripped up all the carpet in my closet and brought a huge loud fan in for a day or so, then when they cleaned the carpet it smelled so bad I thought I might asphyxiate from the fumes when I went to sleep.

So when I realized that it had happened again, I was incredibly mad. It's even worse this time too, because it's covering a lot more floor space - like half my bedroom and extending into the living room. Also there was a huge inch-deep puddle in my kitchen. I called maintenance around 11:30 last night, and this is how the conversation went:

me: I just got home and noticed a large amount of water underneath my carpet in my apartment.

him: Oh, are you underneath apartment 110?

me: Yes, I think so.

him: Oh, yeah. They had a water heater problem today. We figured some of the water had gotten into your apartment, but we didn't want to knock on the door because it was kind of late.

me: Okay, can you send someone out to look at it?

him: Yeah, we'll send someone out tomorrow to clean it up.

me: Okay. It's a whole lot of water. (Judging by his attitude, I don't think he grasped this).

Fast forward to 4pm today. I leave to go to the library to study because my apartment is like a wet sponge (I have been wearing rain boots inside all day, it's the only way to walk around) and it also is beginning to smell AWFUL. On the way, I called maintenance back (it is a pager number). 30 minutes later, he calls me back. Conversation:

me: I called last night about a water leak in my apartment...

him: Oh, yeah. I'm glad you called, I had completely forgotten about that.

me: Can you send someone out today to fix it?

him: Sure, I'll call the carpet guys. I'll give you a call and let you know when they're on their way.

me: Well, actually, I'm not at home, and I won't be for the rest of the night. You can get in without me there, right?

him: (very long pause) Oh. Um.... I guess so. I'd have to call a manager...

me: Well, I will not be home for the rest of the night but I'd like to have it taken care of.

him: Okay... I'll see if we can figure something out...

me: Thank you.

It is now 11:39, and when I walked in a few minutes ago nothing had changed. He obviously did not call someone to come out. The place smells incredibly bad. I don't even know what to do. I have to go pay my rent tomorrow, so I am going to try to talk to the new manager about it, because the place changed ownership a few days ago.

I don't know what to do. I honestly can't stand living here and it makes my life infinitely more stressful than it already is. I'm embarrassed to even bring people here because the property is so disgusting. There are always multiple stray cats running around the parking lot, and my upstairs neighbors have loud parties at all hours of the night and like to participate in activities such as flicking their cigarette butts onto my car. Not to mention that ever since I have moved in it's been a constant battle with maintenance issues. I spent the first three months without a light in my kitchen because something about the fixture was messed up and they couldn't seem to find time to replace it. The only problem is, my lease is until the beginning of August and I don't know if there's any way I can get out of it.

I'm going to bed, I guess. Nothing like living in a swamp.

wow.

2009-02-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't realize it, today is National Pancake Day. In celebration, four friends and I headed to IHOP around 8 to get some free pancakes. All five of us rode in Anna's car to get there. We spent about an hour eating our pancakes and eggs and boysenberry syrup, which were all delicious. Stephen, Jeni, and Kate were also there so we talked to them some as well. After paying, we walked outside to the parking lot. Here's where it gets interesting.

1. Anna cannot find her keys.

2. She goes to the car, looks inside, and comes back to tell us that she has indeed locked her keys in the car.

3. When the rest of us go to inspect the situation, we realize that not only are the keys locked in the car, they are in the ignition.

4. Not only are the keys in the ignition, THE CAR IS RUNNING. IT HAS BEEN RUNNING THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE IN THE RESTAURANT.

I was not even annoyed or upset, I was too busy laughing. I love you, Anna. I'm amazed that that is even possible.

We tried to remedy the situation ourselves with a broken off piece of an umbrella (thanks, Stephen) but it didn't work. Lee's idea of asking every person he saw in the parking lot for a coat hanger was not successful either. The situation was eventually resolved when we called AAA, and they sent someone out to fix it. Apparently Fat Tuesday is the most common day for keys to be locked in cars. Who knew?

[ third place. +1? ]

EDIT: I just remembered something else. When Anna was on the phone with AAA, they asked her what phone number they could reach her at, and she forgot that she had a cell phone (that she was currently talking on). Also she apparently could not remember what color her car was.

ha.

2009-02-23T21:41:00.000-08:00

i could not have written a more accurate portrayal of life at apartment #106.

the luckiest shopping trip ever? maybe.

2009-02-23T07:59:00.000-08:00

Last night my friend Anna had a few of us over for an Oscar party. I was in charge of making the ballots, which I did that afternoon. I wanted to pick up some sort of prize for the most correct predictions, so at around 3pm I went to Party City, hoping they would have fake plastic Oscar statues. They didn't, but this is what I found: Hollywood-themed plates, napkins, and serving trays. Marked down from like $4.00 to 50 cents a package. 100-foot string of gold and silver star decorations. Marked down to $1.50. I was ecstatic. It's like they wanted me to come in and shop for my Oscar party.

After I walked out, pleased with myself, I noticed that the Goodwill store was right next door to Party City. The day before, I had looked at Target for a skinny red belt to wear with my black dress and they didn't have one in my size. I thought to myself, "I'll pop into Goodwill and see if they have a fun colored belt I can wear with my dress. Why not?" So I went in, and began to peruse the belt rack, and there it was. The exact skinny patent leather red belt I had been picturing in my head. For $1.29. I also found a cool beige-ish skinny belt that I decided to pick up as well for the same price. I headed up to the checkout counter, which had no line. On my way, though, I got distracted by the rack of CDs. Among the various instrumental Christmas recordings by unknown artists, a cursory glance revealed a shocking discovery: The Hold Steady's Stay Positive CD, still in the plastic shrink wrap. For $2.29. I'm so glad I didn't buy this two months ago when I wanted to.

The only downside to this shopping trip was that while I was picking up the CD, two ladies got in front of me in the line to pay. Each of them had an entire cart piled HIGH with stuff. I was in line for probably around 15 to 20 minutes to buy my under-$5.00 purchase of two belts and a CD. The pace at which the cashiers were operating (I would compare it to an apathetic snail) was borderline ridiculous. But I guess they're allowed to be as slow as they want, because I waited it out (and so did the 5 or 6 people that began to pile up behind me in line).

P.S. If anyone wants a large table painted with a mural of the Chiquita banana girl for $15, it is at Goodwill.

OSCAR QUEST 2009

2009-02-22T10:36:00.001-08:00

This is going to be short, because I do need to study at some point this afternoon. But I just wanted to give a quick summary of Oscar Quest 2009 and offer my predictions for tonight's awards. Here's a rundown of all the nominated movies I've seen.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I liked this movie a lot. It's not perfect; the first half seemed to drag on endlessly, but it picked up a lot in the second half. Cate Blanchett never ceases to amaze me, and the special effects and makeup in this film were astounding. I almost kept forgetting to pay attention to the movie, I was so busy trying to figure out how they made Brad Pitt into a 5-foot tall, 80 year old man. Another one of its merits is that unlike a lot of other Oscar picks, I think it's a movie almost everyone would enjoy. It's sad but happy all at the same time, and it doesn't leave you with a depressed feeling the way a lot of movies do. The way the story was told reminded me a lot of Big Fish, which is another movie I love. This got the most nominations out of any film this year, and while I don't think it's the best picture of the year, it definitely deserves to be recognized.

Frost/Nixon.

This is my #2 pick for Best Picture, although I don't think it will win. I went in expecting a politically charged biography/documentary and came out surprised. Instead of being centered around history and politics and the state of a nation, the movie played out much more as the story of two men - both uncertain, both flawed, and both standing up for what they believe, however right or wrong it may have been. Both actors provided insightful, practically flawless performances. Even if you know nothing about Nixon (like me), I think you'll be surprised at how much you like this movie.

Milk.

I wrote a lot about this in a post a few weeks back. I'm going to predict that this will win for Best Picture. It's a great movie and very well made, but I don't think it deserves the award. I can't quite put my finger on why. I think part of me feels that art should be art, and when its purpose is to promote a political or social agenda (regardless of what that agenda is) it loses something that makes it intrinsically beautiful. I hesitate to make this statement, because I don't want anyone to think that I am opposed to the message in Milk (quite the contrary) or any other film that tells a story. These movies are wonderful and they have their place. I just don't think this one constitutes the best film of the year.

The Reader.

This was my absolute favorite of all the movies I saw in preparation for O.Q.'09. The story is beautiful and creative, the acting is excellent, and the cinematography is subtle but perfect. It's very sad, and I understand that some people don't like that; there is also a lot of sexual content at the beginning, so consider yourself warned. It's absolutely beautiful, though, and I would see it again in a heartbeat. My pick for Best Picture, hands down. (Although the Academy probably won't agree)

Slumdog Millionaire.

This movie has won about 38749382743 awards. It's great. The cinematography is amazing, the soundtrack is perfect, and the story is touching (albeit a tad predictable). I would definitely watch this one again. However, I'm not sure I understand why it's winning absolutely everything it can get its hands on. I'm not complaining because it's a fabulous movie, but to me it wasn't significantly better than any of the other contenders.

Revolutionary Road.

"Sad" is not an adequate word to describe this film. "Terrifying" might be more accurate. After I walked out of the theatre, I felt physically sick to my stomach, it had affected me so much. If you prefer happy endings (or happy beginnings or happy middles), this is not the film for you to see. I'm still in shock that neither Kate Winslet nor Leonardo DiCaprio got nominated for their roles in this film, because the intensity of the performances both of them gave is unrivaled by anything else I have seen in recent years. If I could write-in my own Academy Awards, both of them would win without any question.

Doubt.

I'm a little disappointed that this didn't get a Best Picture nod, but I think I can see why. While it's not on the epic scale of Benjamin Button, doesn't have the social implications of Milk, or the camera action of Slumdog, it's a poignant story told exceedingly well by an astounding cast. It's almost directly based on a play (the playwright adapted his own script for the film version) and as a theatre lover I think that is part of why I loved it so much. The cinematography is minimalistic, and it almost views more like a play than a movie in that the acting is what stands out the most. Fittingly, though, it got four acting nominations: Meryl Streep for Best Actress, PSH for Supporting Actor (how on earth do they determine supporting vs. leading roles? who knows), and Amy Adams and Viola Davis are both nominated in the Supporting Actress category. I wish them all the best of luck.

Animated short films:

"Lavatory-Lovestory." ADORABLE. I sincerely hope this wins.

"Presto." I love Pixar. This is the short that played at the beginning of WALL-E (which I still haven't seen!).

"This Way Up." I didn't really understand this one - I thought it was really weird.

"Oktapodi." The shortest of the four, this is a cute and silly story of two squids (I think) that will definitely make you smile.

2009-02-21T21:50:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I received two pieces of amazing news.

1. Friday night, Kara called me to let me know that she got accepted to medical school here at USA! I'm so proud of her and excited! She is awaiting a response from UAB before she decides where she will go, but I can imagine that she is so relieved to know that she will defintely be attending medical school. And of course, I am putting in a good word for Mobile. All the good words I can, actually. (But seriously, she should go wherever she is happiest. Which would obviously be here.)

2. This afternoon, my best friend Erin called me to tell me that she is now ENGAGED!! I am so happy for her and Gerrit, her awesome boyfriend who is now her fiancee. (Weird. I still feel like I'm not old enough to say that word.) Anyways, I'm so so so happy for them! I have known Erin literally my entire life, and ever since they started dating I think we all knew that this was the real thing. Yay. I just love weddings.

In other news, I just watched the last of the Best Picture nominees. Cutting it close, I know. I thoroughly enjoyed The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I'm hoping to put up a post tomorrow with my predictions and a brief review of all of the Oscar nominees I saw. But for now, it's time for an episode of 30 Rock, a bowl of ice cream, and my pillow. I love bedtime.

P.S. I should be banned from shopping. Today I went to Target for groceries and came home with the latest Counting Crows CD and a new curling iron. (It's really fancy! And it was on sale!)

Why I was just not into this movie.

2009-02-17T22:38:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I read this book. Normally, I don't like reading things that come recommended by talk show hosts and are subtitled things like "The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys." Because honestly, that sounds so pretentious. But it is not at all. More so than anything I have ever read, this completely changed the way I viewed relationships. It should be required reading for every girl. So when I found out they were making a movie out of it, I was very excited and highly skeptical.

I know that many of you, particularly those of the male persuasion, will never pick up this book or see the corresponding film, so let me quickly recap some of the points the book makes. (Like I said, it's been a few years, but this is the general gist of it.)

1. Since the beginning of time, women have been lying to themselves and each other about the way they are being treated by men. Random example: Jane is upset because a guy is not calling her when he said he would, and complains to her friend about it. Jane's friend acts shocked and outraged at the mere idea that any guy would not worship at Jane's feet and assures her that either his phone is broken, or he got in a car wreck and is in the hospital unconscious, or he lost her number, etc. Jane agrees wholeheartedly, becuase she wants this to be true.

2. 99% of the time, these excuses are not true. Yes, there are exceptions, and everyone has heard the story of someone whose boyfriend cheated on them but then did a complete 180 turnaround and now they're happily married, blah blah blah. Do not treat yourself as the exception. Treat your life as the rule.

3. When women believe these excuses, they fool themselves into thinking a guy is interested, when in fact, he's just not that into you. There are a number of warning signs that show a guy is not that into you: he doesn't call, he doesn't take you on dates, he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends, he's cheating on you, he won't marry you, etc. A guy will do anything to avoid telling someone he's not interested.

4. If women would pay attention to these signs and tell themselves and each other the truth, they would save a lot of heartbreak. Because who wants to waste your time on someone who is not interested in seeing you? You deserve someone who's the real deal, someone who really loves you and someone for whom you don't have to make excuses.

I was really curious how the transition from self-help book into romantic comedy was going to pan out. The cast of the film is great, and the amount of big-name stars (Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Drew Barrymore, the list goes on) didn't hurt box office numbers, I'm sure. It follows several different storylines that all vaguely intersect, and the ideas are clever. I walked out of the movie with a general happy romantic-comedy feeling, but the more I thought about it, the more disappointed I was with the plot and script choices that were made.

During the first 3/4 of the movie, they did a really good job of portraying the ideas I talked about above. And for a romantic comedy, that's really impressive. The film's major downfall, however, is this: the ending of several of the stories completely negate the points made in the film. It kind of makes me mad, actually. Out of the three major storylines, two of them end with the girls discovering in the final moments of the movie that they are, in fact, the exception to the rule. Turns out he was just that into them in the first place. What just happened? It's like in the final 20 minutes of the script, the intelligent and empowered writers got tired and passed it over to the formulaic rom-com writers to finish it off.

The book He's Just Not That Into You sends a strong and unrelenting message to women of all ages. Don't lie to yourself, it says; believe the signs you see that HJNTIY and move on to someone better, because you deserve it. The movie tries to portray the same message, but about 3/4 of the way through, it falls flat on its face and everyone lives happily ever after. No, thank you.

question of the day.

2009-02-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

I have asked a lot of people this question before, but it's been awhile and I am curious to know what my blog readers will respond. It's a three-part question:

1. In the movie of your life, what actor would you pick to play you?

2. Who would play your love interest?

3. Who would play your best friend?

My choices would be:

1. Laura Linney. (I flip-flop on this one between her and Reese Witherspoon. I can't decide.)

2. Jack Black (if you are confused about this choice, see The Holiday).

3. Lauren Graham.

I'm anxiously awaiting your responses.

fashion designers are really attractive.

2009-02-15T14:03:00.001-08:00

Betsey Johnson

Donatella Versace

Ralph Lauren

Diane von Furstenberg

finally.

2009-02-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

New Orleans. Wow, where to even start? It was kind of the most random weekend of my life. It started out as a few of us planning to go to the Andrew Bird concert, and I think the final count of our group that went was somewhere around 15. CRAZY.

The original plan was this: Hannah, Ruth, Patrick, Michael, Kara, Casey, Britt, and Jonathan were going to come down Friday night and spend the night in my apartment. Yeah. After about five seconds I realized that was not going to work. So after some finagling we decided to leave the guys in my place and me and the rest of the girls would go sleep at Anna's because I don't even think I have enough square feet for all of those people. Well, a kink got put in that plan when Hannah called me at approximately 10 pm to say that her car was broken down in the ghetto part of Montgomery. She had hit something in the road and there was a hole in her radiator. Also there were five other people in her car with her. So by the time Kara, Britt, and Jonathan arrived here, they were hanging out at some sketchball McDonald's waiting for a tow truck and for another friend of ours to come deliver a car to them. I'm still a little fuzzy on how this all happened, but at about 2:30 am they made it to Mobile. I'm still in awe that it was not me that was on the side of the road having car troubles, and I'm sorry that Hannah had to go through that and pay a ton of money to have her car fixed, but it all worked out and everyone was okay so that's all that mattered.

The next morning, we woke up and went to Satori (which was mysteriously closed) and then to Carpe Diem to get coffee and breakfast. Anna Foust, because she is rockin', drove my car (Phil) because I hate driving but we trusted my car a little more than hers. It worked out quite nicely.

shotgun

We got a late start (one lost/found credit card, no big) but we got to New Orleans about 12:30 or so. Hannah (who is awesome) selected our hotel sight unseen based on Internet reviews. This is sometimes a good idea and sometimes not. I still can't decide which it was. It may have been in the dodgiest neighborhood of New Orleans. However, the hotel was adorable. It was called the Olde Town Inn and it was bright yellow and you had to go through this awesome courtyard thing to get to the room. Inside, the room looked like it was built in approximately 1850, but it was charming and there were about 10 of us staying in it so it didn't really matter anyway. And it was super cheap and we're all still alive so no complaints here. We took some sweet photoshoots in the parking lot. And by "we," I mean Britt Doss, aka Chanel No. 5 for all of you medical school readers. He and Kara both have really legit cameras and they were snappin' all weekend long and I don't even know where the batteries for my camera are, so.... I stole his pictures. I would have stolen hers but she hasn't put them on Facebook yet.

me and Kara in front of some random blue trailer in the parking lot. things are very colorful in this city.

Kara, me, Anna, and Jonathan being really random. I am talking to my mom on the phone.

We met up with our super cool friends Mark and Sam who are from Hattiesburg and we all ate lunch at this cute place called Angeli's. Apparently Brad and Angelina eat there all the time. Also Miles (my super awesome friend who goes to Tulane and used to be my fake Facebook husband for like two years) came and met up with us and he showed me where they actually live which is right around the corner. I was freaking out. I wanted to stalk them and their sixteen little multicultural children. Until someone pointed out that they don't really "live" in New Orleans that much because they are always making movies and doing Hollywood stuff. So we didn't bump into them. Oh well. After lunch we kind of split up because we were obnoxiously large. The group of us, I mean. None of us were particularly large individually. So me and Miles and Anna went in search of coffee (duh) and found some, in the form of a "granita," which is my new favorite beverage. It's like a coffee slushy, which sounds gross, but it's like all the best properties of coffee (caffeinated, delicious, sweet but not too sweet) mixed with all the properties of a slushy (you get to drink it with a straw, it's cold and fun) and combined, there is a sort of multiplier effect so that it is infinitely better than the sum of its parts. (Note: the fact that I was walking down the street in New Orleans in short sleeves on a 75 degree February afternoon probably made the beverage even tastier.)

candid shot. me and miles apparently coordinated our sunglass-adjusting.

Miles gave Anna and I the tour-guide version of the city. I paid attention to about 30% of it. It's a cool place. Also we went into Urban Outfitters, where I didn't buy a scarf. Soon we found Kara and Britt and Jonathan where they were sitting on the grass in Jackson Square. (An aside: Kara was carrying my wallet in her purse. In return, I carried around her neon yellow Frisbee all day. I looked ridiculous.) So we hung out there for a little bit and people-watched. Then we realized that we should probably make the trek back to the hotel so we could stash our purses and stuff before the show. Let me just say that the hotel was about 2.5 miles away. I have never walked so much in one day in my life. Also we were kind of confused about where we were going. We passed a very nice looking gay couple wearing Gucci glasses and decided to ask them for directions. This is how the conversation went. (This occurred at approximately 4:30 pm in broad daylight.)

Anna: Excuse me, do you know how far up North Rampart Street is?

Man: (shocked look on his face) Why on earth would you be going there? For the parade? (we are clearly heading the opposite direction of the parade)

Anna: It's where our hotel is.

Man: (exchanging nervous glances with his partner) Well, okay... it's a few blocks up that way and turn right. And STAY TOGETHER, girls. Good luck.

A little more afraid than we had been, we completed the walk to the hotel. After we finished getting ready, we turned right back around and started to walk down to the French Quarter. The first Mardi Gras parade was occurring that night. We were hoping to catch some of it before the show. Well, the only problem with that plan was that we were also hungry, and we wanted a quick place to grab food. Turns out that every place along the parade route was PACKED. So we had to go super out of the way to eat at this sushi place called Wasabi, and while we were there we discovered that Jonathan did not have his driver's license. He ran back to the hotel (again) and couldn't find it there either, so everyone was pretty frazzled. Finally, at around 7, we met back up with Jonathan (still ID-less) and headed towards the House of Blues. There was an obstacle in our way, however, in the form of the Mardi Gras parade. We had to cross the street where the parade was happening, and that just wasn't going to work. We got lucky, though, because it was the tail end of the parade and we only had to wait 10 or so minutes for it to pass.

After we crossed the street, we asked some nice looking people which way we needed to go to get to the House of Blues. Their response: "Are you guys going to Andrew Bird! Oh man! Lucky dogs!" I felt pretty awesome. Also we hightailed it there, speedwalking through a massive crowd the entire way, and the 5 of us made it in like 10 minutes. We might be the best speed walkers New Orleans has ever seen. And we weren't even wearing fanny packs. When we got to the HOB, we lined up outside to get our hands stamped. (I got my hands stamped! And a bracelet! I'm so old!) While in line we met up with the rest of our group. There was a lot of ticket shuffling and random plans being made because a few of the guys didn't have tickets. Ruth and Casey discovered that Joshua Radin was also playing at the HOB the same night and so they sold their Andrew Bird tickets so they could go to that one. I was the tiniest bit jealous because I love Josh but I knew I was making the right decision. Because let me tell you, this was the most amazing musical performance I have seen in my entire life. I am not even exaggerating right now. I didn't really know what it would be like because Andrew Bird's music is really different than most other stuff I listen to, but I was seriously impressed.

Okay so when he first came onto the stage, it was just him - no band or anything. He was holding his violin. He began by plucking out a really simple phrase on the strings. Meanwhile, he was pressing all these foot pedals. I figured out in about 2 seconds that what he was doing was recording that phrase and looping it. So he plucked a phrase, recorded it, played it on loop, then he plucked a different phrase and did the same thing. Then he got out his bow and started playing phrases. All of this got layered on top of each other until it sounded like a freaking orchestra was playing except nope, it was just him. Then when all the violin parts were recorded he picked up his guitar and started doing the same thing. I think all of our chins were about to hit the floor. He played a few songs solo just like that. Then his band came out and it was no less amazing. The keyboardist was also the drummer, and the bass player also played saxophone. No big deal.

Oh, and did I mention the whistling? Because he whistles with perfect pitch. I don't even understand how you can do that, but he would stand there for a second, bow poised above the violin, lost in thought, and then he would launch into a melody, simultaneously playing and whistling. I think he might have had a flute hidden inside his mouth because I do not know of anyone who can make noises like that. It was so weird and cool. By the time he got a few songs into the set, his violin bow was shedding strings like crazy. It was kind of funny to watch him playing and there were long strings hanging off of both ends of the bow.

His stage had some pretty crazy additions to it. This is just a picture I found off the Internet (there was no screen at the House of Blues, it's a really small venue) but check out these awesome megaphone things. The white one in the back spins around and created a Doppler effect during the really intense songs.

I would like to meet this Andrew Bird someday, because I think he would be a very interesting person. He is almost certainly very weird. I heard an NPR interview with him once where they asked him what other music he had been listening to lately. He thought for a minute, and then answered something to this effect: "I used to walk into record stores and just want to buy everything and listen to it. But lately, I haven't been doing that very much. The music that is going on inside my head is really more than enough for me." And after seeing him, I believe it. Anyone who stands on stage with a violin in one hand and a guitar strapped to his back, all the while whistling perfect melodies and operating multiple looping and recording foot pedals, has probably got some pretty intense music going on inside his head.

Here are a few of my favorite songs he played. I have tried to find youtube videos that capture what was happening because it's pretty mind-boggling.

a nervous tic motion of the head to the left

fitz and the dizzyspells

why

plasticities

After the show, we went to Cafe Du Monde to get beignets. They were amazing. The rest of them ended up going out but Anna, Kara, and I headed back to the hotel because it was like 1:30 am and we were beat, and I have narcolepsy and that is way past my bedtime. Nothing really eventful (thank goodness) happened on the way back to sketchville. We did see two really drunk guys riding bicycles and yelling stupid insults at each other from across the street and it was pretty hilarious. By the time we got back, we pretty much fell straight asleep and then we woke up at 10 and drove back in our pajamas.

It was a pretty awesome weekend if I do say so myself. This post is also really long and I'm sorry if I bored any you, but you should definitely check out a couple of the videos and maybe you will understand what I mean about how awesome it was.

briefly, a few things

2009-02-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

1. New Orleans post coming soon, I promise.

2. I don't know how many of you have read my other music blog that I write with a couple other friends, but in case any of you do, it has recently moved because we were having issues with Blogger and the whole music-posting thing. The new address is here:

http://musicalmoxie.wordpress.com/

I am hoping to get more regular about updating it. Be sure to check it out because I posted the link to a really awesome album I found out about that is being released for free. Get excited.

3. This very minute, Kara is interviewing for med school here! Yay! Pray it goes well for her!

gross

2009-02-09T07:12:00.000-08:00

Expect a post about my trip to New Orleans this weekend later today. Right now, however, I just wanted to tell a fun little story from yesterday:

My friend Kara is staying with me for a few days before she has a med school interview here on Wednesday. She and Liz were at my apartment yesterday afternoon and we were sitting in my living room. I went into my bedroom because I had to make a phone call, and while I was laying on my bed, I noticed something strange in my pillow. Not the pillow I sleep on, but the sham one. The pillowcase is mostly white so I could kind of see through it, and there was something weird-shaped and brownish underneath it. It looked like a dead bug, so I was kind of grossed out. As soon as I got off the phone, I brought it in there and was like look at this, there's something in my pillow. I figured it was a dead spider, and Kara (being awesome) offered to get it out for me because I was not sure I wanted to see my new friend that had been living inside my bedding. As soon as she pulled back the pillowcase, however, an extremely shocked look came over her face.

"You're not going to believe this," she exclaimed. Well, now I'm even more freaked out. "Is it a brown recluse?" I asked. Nope, it was not a brown recluse. "Weirder," was the response. Liz went and looked at it and was equally shocked. Finally, I went to see what it was. And friends... it was a lizard. A dried up, dead baby lizard. Inside my pillow sham. It had been there for who knows how long. I don't know why this grossed me out so much, because lizards are pretty harmless, and live ones don't freak me out, but I am kind of scarred from this one. It was really creepy looking. Its eyes were huge. Kara got a picture of it on her camera, so I will upload it when I get a chance. Also, I can't figure out how it got there. This wasn't even a normal pillowcase where it could have just crawled in at the big open space at the end... the opening is on the back of the pillow and it's like an overlapping slit thing. And the lizard was at the FRONT of the pillow. So it would have had quite a journey to make just to suffocate to death. What is going on?

MILK.

2009-02-06T12:21:00.000-08:00

As part of Oscar Quest '09 I went to see the movie Milk last Thursday night. Apparently Mobile has an indie movie theatre (who knew? I like this city better every day) and it's showing for the next week or two. Kacie, Shannon, Sarah Beth and I met a few second years and hit up the 6pm showing. It was only 6 bucks if you went to the 6pm showing, and we figured that it wouldn't be very crowded on a weeknight, right? Wrong. It was packed. We were about five minutes late and we couldn't even sit together it was so crowded. Also, they don't show previews, so we missed the first few minutes, but it wasn't a big deal.

I honestly had no idea whether I would like this movie or not. I was a little bit skeptical. If you don't know what it's about, it's an independent film (documentary? I'm not sure) chronicling the life of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to become a city supervisor of San Francisco. I didn't know the story, but from the historical photos and facts they showed at the end of the film, it looks like they pretty much stuck to the history. I'd like to read a little bit about it, though.

Set in the 1970s, the cultural differences in this film were what shocked me the most. The struggle for gay rights is definitely ongoing today, but there are completely different battles being fought today than there were thirty and forty years ago. Regardless of where you stand on the gay marriage issue, the viewpoints of some characters (the Christians, go figure) in this movie are shocking. Homosexuality is a complex issue that evokes a lot of emotional responses from both sides, and that fact is hyperevident here. The crux of the film lies in Milk's fight against 1978's Proposition 6, a proposed California amendment that would have allowed the state's education department to fire any teacher for whom they had evidence of homosexuality. The religious right's depiction of gays as predators whose sole purpose for teaching was to convert children to their lifestyle seems absurd, but it reflected the views of a large part of America at that time, and the fundamentalist Christians were at the heart of the movement supporting this amendment. The Christians were the ones trying to prevent gays not just from getting married, but from shopping in stores, having jobs, and buying houses. It's eye-opening, if nothing else.

The film, I thought, was very well done. Sean Penn looks a lot like the real Harvey Milk, which is kind of random but cool. It's hard for me to compare this movie to, say, Slumdog Millionaire or The Reader because it's so different. I will say that I don't think it is the best picture of the year, but the subject matter will definitely give it a lot of pull with the Hollywood crowd. We'll see what happens. I didn't agree with a lot of things in the film, and parts of it made me uncomfortable, but thought provocation is an indicator of a well-made piece of art and I think almost everyone could benefit from seeing this movie.

celebrity blogs: top four

2009-02-05T11:12:00.000-08:00

There are two things about me you should know.

A) I'm a stalker.

B) I love Google Reader. Every day, new syndicated content in the form of blogs from across the World Wide Web is delivered instantly to my computer screen. If you haven't used Reader yet, you should give it a try.

The logical conclusion that one could draw from these two facts is that I love to read blogs of people that I do not know in real life. This conclusion is correct. I have come across many, but there are a few of these celebrity blogs that continually amaze me. These are the ones that keep me reading day after day. I have decided that it's only fair to share these with you.

WARNING: I am not responsible for any sketchy content that may or may not appear on these pages. They're celebrities, after all. They exist in an alternate universe.

Without further ado, and in no particular order:

1) THINGS I BOUGHT THAT I LOVE [http://thingsiboughtthatilove.com/]

If you are an avid Office fan like I am, you will recognize the name Mindy Kaling. She plays Kelly, one of my favorite characters on the show, but she is also one of the show's writers. She also writes possibly the funniest blog I have ever read. She is a self-confessed shopaholic and writes hilarious discourses about various things she has purchased. I highly recommend that you go read every entry.

2) NICK HORNBY [http://nickhornby.campaignserver.co.uk/]

While not as entertaining as his novels (could anything ever be as entertaining as his novels?), one of my comedic heroes provides an ongoing dry and witty commentary of just about everything - books he's read, music he's listened to, stupid people he's encountered, you name it. Notice the second post down entitled "I have just come back." I am pretty sure I laughed out loud for a long time after I read that one. Also, it keeps me posted on what he's up to; he wrote the screenplay for an independent movie called An Education that recently got picked up at the Sundance Festival for US distribution.

3) THE CARDINAL CAVE [ http://cave.cardinology.com/ ]

An open letter to Ryan Adams: Unstable as you might be, I am simultaneously enthralled and creeped out by your constant life documentation on this blog. I would say that it's where I found out that you were retiring from music next month, but by the time I got around to reading, you had deleted the post in a fit of fiery rage, leaving only a cryptic message behind. Of course, this led me to peruse the rest of the Internet to figure out what was actually going on. (For some reason, the detailed posts outlining symptoms of your medical condition didn't tip me off, but now I have put the pieces together. Don't worry.) Your photography skills are pretty rad as well -- this is what tipped me off that you were dating Mandy Moore. This has apparently been old news for months, but I was unaware. Good thing I came across that photo of her (codename: Bug) that you posted yesterday. I guess what I'm trying to say, Ryan, is to keep on keeping us guessing. Because now that you're no longer going to make music, what else will keep people talking about you?

4) INGRID MICHAELSON'S TWITTER [ http://twitter.com/ingridmusic ]

I guess this isn't really a blog, but it might be better. Not only is she hilarious and her music's amazing, but she updates her Twitter more than most of my actual friends do, which always provides for some sweet entertainment. Also, she just started a real blog the other day (entitled "Bliggity Blog"), which can be found at http://ingridmichaelson.tumblr.com/. Read and enjoy.

I hope these provide at least one person with some entertainment for the afternoon. Have a nice day.

update

2009-02-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

1. I am disappointed in the lack of response to my top-3-songs-for-the-rest-of-your-life post. However, I would like to provide you with an update. I have thought of some new contenders to hold the title of song #3.

-"The Trapeze Swinger" by Iron & Wine. This song is phenomenally wonderful. It is also very long, which is a good quality to have in this situation.

- "For Emma" (myspace version) by Bon Iver. This one is really great too; however, it's super short (I think only 2 minutes) so I would have to listen to it many more times. But that might not be a problem.

2. Readers, you'll be happy to know that Motivated Allison was able to overcome the odds this morning after only two presses of the snooze button. Not only that, but Motivated Allison went to the GYM. At 7:45 am. I'm kind of in awe of this fact. I might brag about it a lot. Perhaps it will become my new daily routine. I feel very triumphant today.

3. ALSO, this may be TMI, but I have super dry skin in the winter. It's a problem. While pondering this yesterday, I noticed that I have about a thousand types of lotion. So as a service to the general population of all 5 of you that read this blog, I am going to test all the various lotions I own in a systematic, experimental format over the next couple of days and review and rate them on here. If anyone knows of any amazing products they think I should try as well, please let me know and I will include it. (As long as it's not super expensive. I'm sure that there's some type of like, Chanel dry-hand-cream that costs $400 that is amazing, but you know, I just don't care quite that much.) Also, I am still pondering what the conditions of this experiment should be, since I want to be fair to all products represented in the trial. How should I do it?

waking up.

2009-02-02T07:07:00.001-08:00

Some people love mornings. When the alarm clock goes off, they jump out of bed, excited about the start of a new day. I, on the other hand, do not like mornings. Once I am out of bed, showered, and have coffee I am usually pretty good, but getting there is a huge challenge. You know in movies when people have an angel one one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder and they're arguing? It's kind of like that. Here's how the conversation goes.

6:15 - alarm goes off.

Motivated (and ridiculously optimistic) Allison: It's 6:15! I'm so glad I decided to wake up early today, this will give me plenty of time to fix my hair, eat a balanced breakfast, and do my daily devotional before arriving to class in plenty of time to be ready to begin learning for the day.

Narcoleptic Allison: I hate you. Sleep. (presses snooze button).

6:23 - radio alarm goes off again.

Narcoleptic Allison: Has it really been eight whole minutes?

Motivated Allison: All right! Time to get --

Narcoleptic Allison: (presses snooze and immediately falls back asleep)

6:25 - cell phone alarm goes off from the BATHROOM, where I have strategically placed it to make sure I have to get out of bed to turn it off.

Motivated Allison: If I get up now, I'll still be able to fix my hair with barely enough time.

Narcoleptic Allison: Okay, we're getting up now. (walks to the bathroom, grabs phone, gets back in bed, resets alarm with eyes closed, falls back asleep).

6:31 - radio alarm goes off again.

Motivated Allison: I should definitely get up now so I can pick out my clothes for the day. I bought a new sweater and I'm really excited about wearing it!

Narcoleptic Allison: I was going to get up this time for sure, but there's a commercial on the radio. Who wants to wake up to a carpet commercial? I bet there will be a good song on eight minutes from now. (snooze again)

6:39 - radio alarm goes off again.

Motivated Allison: I love this song! Perfect motivation to get out of bed. Let's go.

Narcoleptic Allison: Class starts at 8:00. It will take me approximately five minutes to drive there if I hit the traffic light. 15 minutes for shower and clothes, 5 minutes to make coffee. So technically, I could sleep until 7:35. (snooze again) Note: Narcoleptic Allison is really awesome at math. Even when asleep, she can figure out complex equations relating to timing of morning routines.

6:45 - cell phone alarm goes off again.

Narcoleptic Allison: Good thing the phone's in bed with me this time, turning it off is a lot easier. (snoozes the cell phone alarm)

6:47 - radio alarm goes off again.

Motivated Allison: You are not pressing snooze again. This is getting ridiculous.

Narcoleptic Allison: But - but -

Motivated Allison: Do not close your eyes.

Narcoleptic Allison: I'm closing them.

Motivated Allison: NO.

After several minutes of struggle, M.A. usually drags N.A. out of bed. It's usually a close battle, but so far, M.A. has been able to prevail.

Does anyone else have a similar morning routine, or is it just me?

2009-01-28T16:13:00.001-08:00

I was posed an interesting question a few days ago by my dear friend Kacie Jackson. "If you could only listen to three songs for the rest of your life," she asked me, "what would they be?"

I was stumped. Mystified. I love making lists, even difficult ones, but if I could only listen to three songs for eternity, what would I choose?

Two of them were easy. "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" by Counting Crows and "Kathleen" by Josh Ritter are both no-brainers for me. I've thought a lot about #3, but I just don't know what would make the cut! I love the song "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring," so that's a definite possibility. I keep thinking of other ones, though. Sufjan Stevens' rendition of "Come, Thou Fount" is tempting to include as well.

I asked a group of people about this the other day and got some interesting responses. So I would like to pose this question to you, my faithful readers. If you could only listen to three songs for the rest of your life, what would they be? I am anxiously awaiting your responses. You will not be judged.

#7

2009-01-22T11:58:00.000-08:00

Oscar nominations came out this morning! Unfortunately, I do not think I will be able to accomplish my aforementioned resolution of watching all five Best Picture flicks (ha! i just said flicks - i should write for a magazine). Here's the lineup of the big categories:

Best Picture:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Frost/Nixon

Milk

The Reader

Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor:

Richard Jenkins, The Visitor

Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon

Sean Penn, Milk

Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Best Actress:

Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married

Angelina Jolie, Changeling

Melissa Leo, Frozen River

Meryl Streep, Doubt

Kate Winslet, The Reader

Best Supporting Actor:

Josh Brolin, Milk

Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt

Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road.

Best Supporting Actress:

Amy Adams, Doubt

Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Viola Davis, Doubt

Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler

It looks like I will once again be an uninformed Oscar viewer. Milk, The Reader, The Wrestler, Revolutionary Road, and Slumdog Millionaire are not playing in Alabama. Benjamin Button is, but I already paid nine dollars once to see it and I had to leave after 45 minutes... (long story. it was not a fun night.) and while it was good, I don't really feel like paying another 9 bucks to finish it. Frost/Nixon is actually opening in Mobile tomorrow, so I think I will go see it this weekend - anyone want to come along? I would also really like to see Changeling and Rachel Getting Married, but I think both of them are in that awkward between-theatres-and-DVD stage. I have never heard of The Visitor or Frozen River. And Vicky Cristina Barcelona is out on DVD, I'm pretty sure, and I love Woody Allen, so that one will probably be a renter soon.

On a related note: in perusing theatre listings, I always seem to have a certain frustration. For example, here is a sampling of movies playing here currently:

Hotel for Dogs

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

My Bloody Valentine (3D)

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Now, I am not trying to demean these films. For all I know, they are fantastic. I'm sure people like them. However, I just always wonder who decides that people in Alabama have no interest in seeing the movies that were selected by actors, directors, and critics everywhere as the absolute best offerings of the year - instead, they would rather see three-dimensional horror films or a movie about a dog hotel. I realize that a lot of people don't view movies as a life-enriching experience, but why not? If I want to sit in front of a screen and space out (which sometimes I do), I have 107 channels to choose from at home. If I'm going to spend nine dollars to sit in a theatre and see something, I'd like to be able to experience one of the films I've read reviews about, movies that have made people think, movies that have changed people's lives.

A plea to the movie-deciding-people of Alabama: why not branch out and show something with a little more cultural and intellectual significance? You might be surprised.

EDIT: All of the aforementioned movies (with the exception of Milk) are now playing in Huntsville and/or Birmingham. I stand corrected, movie-choosers. You're doing a little better than I thought. Just a little further.

EDIT AGAIN: Whoa. Whoa. I stand even further corrected. I can't believe I'm saying this, but perhaps I should come to terms with the fact that Google is not the unerrant source of all information. Check out these listings for tomorrow, in Mobile, on Fandango: http://www.fandango.com/36608_movietheatershowtimes?date=1/23/2009

I have an obsessive personality: a story told in photographs

2009-01-21T11:55:00.001-08:00

1. hair products (these are just the ones that i use. not counting shampoo and conditioner.)

2. kashi products

3. gray sweaters.

"let us turn our thoughts today to Martin Luther King..."

2009-01-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

"...and recognize that there are ties between us

all men and women, living on the earth

ties of hope and love, sister and brotherhood

that we are bound together in our desire to see the world become

a place in which our children can grow free and strong

we are bound together by the task that stands before us

and the road that lies ahead

we are bound and we are bound

there is a feeling like the clenching of a fist

there is a hunger in the center of the chest

there is a passage through the darkness and the mist

and though the body sleeps the heart will never rest.

shed a little light, oh Lord

so that we can see..."

- the one and only James Taylor.

Shed A Little Light (mp3)

2009-01-19T15:49:00.000-08:00

please, remember me

mistakenly

in the window of the tallest tower

call, then pass us by

but much too high

to see the empty road at happy hour

gleam and resonate just like the gates around the holy kingdom

with words like 'Lost and Found' and 'Don't Look Down'

and 'Someone Save Temptation'

please, remember me

as in the dream

we had as rug-burned babies

among the fallen trees and fast asleep

aside the lions and the ladies

that called you what you like, and even might

give a gift for your behavior

a fleeting chance to see

a trapeze swinger

high as any savior

...

please, remember me

finally

and all my uphill clawing, my dear

but if I make the pearly gates

do my best to make a drawing

of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl

an angel kissin' on a sinner

a monkey and a man, a marching band

all around the frightened trapeze swingers

iron & wine / the trapeze swinger

2009-01-15T12:58:00.000-08:00

When I get my Elle magazine in the mail each month, the cover is different on the subscription edition than it is on the magazines I see in the store. The covers in the store always feature the subject dressed in a brightly-colored dress with a big smile on her face and is covered in about a hundred headlines. The subscription cover is usually the exact opposite - dark colors, the subject is never smiling, and there's usually a single minimal headline. I will admit that the photography is excellent and the covers are very well designed. However, I received the February issue yesterday, it's strange how similar its cover is to the January issue. I mean, there's something wrong when you almost can't tell the difference between Beyonce and Kate Hudson.

jesus and scientology...

2009-01-14T06:32:00.000-08:00

I was reading my Bible last night (resolution #6! I'm awesome!*) and I started thinking about religions. The chapter I was reading was in Matthew, and it was talking about when Jesus began his ministry by recruiting all the fishermen he could find. It made me think a lot about two completely unrelated things.

1. I realize that Jesus did not speak in prosaic English, but the language in the Bible is really funny if you think about it. If someone came up to me and said "Come. Follow me. I will make you fishers of men." I would think they were reciting a monologue from something. It is probably a lot more likely that Jesus saw a fisherman, waved at them, and said something like this. "Hey, what's up? Want to sit down and chat?" and then he struck up a conversation and got to know the guy. And when the guy got to know him a little bit, he was probably thinking hey, this Jesus guy is pretty cool. I wouldn't mind spending more time with him. He seems like he's really got his act together. And then Jesus said something like, "I know you have a really successful fishing career, but how would you like to come with me? I've got a new job for you that is so much more rewarding than what you're doing. Instead of catching fish, you'll be saving people's lives. Are you in?" And the fisherman couldn't say no, he was so amazed by what was happening. I am no Bible scholar and I don't know Greek, but my guess is that's more like how things went down.

2. Religion is a really weird thing when you think about it. Take Christianity, for example. The concept of an intelligent being that created the universe -- okay, that makes sense, I can see anyone believing that. But the rest of it, the creator of the world turning his son into some perfect hybrid God-human thing two thousand years ago and sending him to be born from a virgin and letting him grow up to be a carpenter slash miracle worker slash preacher who eventually gets killed, but not really, because three days later he suspiciously is alive again, and then he gets beamed up to heaven on a cloud - this stuff is not for the faint of heart. And maybe when you're a child, you believe it because it's what you're told in Sunday School. But once you get old enough to really think for yourself, you either discount it all or you really, really believe it. There has to be some pretty powerful faith behind it. I mean, you have to believe hard enough to stake your life on it. Which is hard to do.

Here's where I get confused. I don't mean to pick on any particular celebrities or anything, but let's think about another religion, for example (oh, I don't know) Scientology. The principles of this one are pretty weird as well. Founded by this guy named L. Ron Hubbard in the 1950s, it is formed around the belief that all human souls used to exist in extraterrestrial beings, but now that they are humans on earth, their goal is to pay thousands of dollars to the church in order that they can advance through the different levels of enlightenment in the hopes of one day reaching the level of "the Bridge of Total Freedom." One of the methods of working toward this freedom is through counseling sessions known as "auditing," where the person is hooked up to electrodes for the purpose of measuring body electrical content and locating areas of concern. It's all very complicated, and I'll let you read the Wikipedia article for yourself if you so desire. Back to my point. I am not objectively saying that the principles of Scientology are any more or less weird than those of Christianity. I'll let you decide that for yourself.

What got me really thinking last night, though, was what I said earlier: in order to call yourself a follower of Christianity or any religion, you have to have a really good reason to believe it. You have to be willing to stake your life on it. It becomes part of everything you are. I know tons of Christians, including myself, who are like this. It's a two thousand year old tradition. What I have trouble understanding is how people feel the same way about Scientology. Maybe I am just shortsighted. I can understand why people would discount religion in general; after all, on first glance it does look rather silly, and as a very rational person myself I can see why someone would choose not to believe in gods or religion.

However, I have a lot of trouble understanding how people can dedicate their lives to the study of a "religion" that was dreamed up no more than fifty years ago and requires massive financial donations in order for you to move to higher spiritual levels. The cynic in me wants to say that they are just doing it to be trendy; I'm sure its massive celebrity following doesn't hurt the church's numbers. Maybe that's true for a few, but I want to give people more credit than that. After all, a small percentage of the world might be members of the Scientology church, but a much larger percentage of the world actively ridicules them and their beliefs. (If you are picking a church to be "cool," Christianity is much more accepted in mainstream circles today. In fact, there are plenty of trendy, flashy mega-churches that probably don't require much spiritual commitment at all.) So what is it that draws people to this religion? Is it the hope of becoming someday enlightened? Is it the actual, legitimate belief that your soul once belonged to a space alien? Are people just that desperate to believe something that they choose this?

I don't know any Scientologists, so I will probably never fully understand this. I'm just immensely curious.

*1 out of 21. Not bad!

birthday resolutions

2009-01-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

I have never been successful at making New Year's resolutions. So this year, instead, I am trying something different: birthday resolutions. Since I am 21 today, I thought it would be appropriate to come up with 21 goals for this year. Now, obviously I will probably not reach all of these goals, but the more I set for myself, the bigger the chance will be that i'll achieve one or two of them, right? :)

1. Stick to my budget. I have never budgeted my money before this year. I started using one on January 1st, and so far I'm doing really well as far as keeping track of my spending. Let's hope this can continue. I just hate to think of all the stupid places my loan money was going before - this at least makes me think "do I really want to have to type this in" about something before I spend money on it.

2. Keep on top of my studying. Okay, so - I've already failed at this so far this semester. For example, right now I am writing in my blog instead of paying attention in class. But, to be fair, I can't understand this guy. And as soon as I finish these next 19 resolutions, I'm going back to studying. Right.

3. Listen to more music (but don't necessarily spend money on it). For example, I have begun listening to the NPR podcast "All Songs Considered." It's really great. They interview bands and play a bunch of awesome music. For free. Also, NPR has a feature called "Exclusive First Listen" on their site where you can stream albums before they are released - for example, right now you can listen to the latest offerings by Bruce Springsteen, Animal Collective, M. Ward, and Andrew Bird. Yes, please.

4. Get better at Scrabble. If you would like to help me achieve this goal, sign up for the Lexulous application on Facebook and challenge me to a game.

5. Not play Scrabble quite as often during class.

6. Read my Bible every day. I am really bad at this. But I want to make a huge effort to read at least a chapter every day. (I started this morning!)

7. Watch the 5 Best Picture nominees when the Oscar nominations come out (and before the actual awards ceremony so I can act like a movie snob for one night in my life). *NOTE: I don't think this will be possible because Alabama's movie theatres do not, as a general rule, play films of substance. Nevertheless, I will try.

8. Not waste as much time on the Internet. If I have free time after studying, I'd rather spend it reading a book or watching a quality film.

9. Keep in touch with old friends. At least once a week, my goal will be to call someone I haven't talked to in awhile.

10. Eat more fruit. It is way tastier than dessert. Who needs ice cream and chocolate when you can have an apple? (I'm trying to convince myself here.)

11. Eat more vegetables.

12. Learn to cook more interesting recipes. I have a cookbook now so this should not be hard. Right?

13. Not get viruses on my computer. On a related note, learn how to fix whatever is wrong with my keyboard right now.

14. Take more pictures. I always forget to bring my camera places and I always regret it.

15. Publish a Scrapblog of all interesting events attended, using aforementioned photographs.

16. Clean my apartment on a more regular basis. This includes vacuuming, cleaning the shower, etc. Who doesn't love a sparkly clean house? It always puts me in a better mood.

17. EXERCISE two to three times a week. I am not paying for this gym membership for nothing! Plus I can probably guarantee I will not be successful all the time at numbers 10 and 11 so maybe this will help keep me in shape.

18. Read magazines as soon as I get them. Okay, I love magazines, but it's turning into a problem. Especially the U.S. News ones. I subscribe because I want to be informed and I really do enjoy it once I start reading them but it's just hard to sit down and actually read it when I'd rather be watching TV or something.

19. Get some really awesome sunglasses. Usually I buy sunglasses when I am desperate and I need them because I broke a pair or something, and I just get whatever five-dollar pair doesn't look awful on my face. No more. I want a really legit pair that I can put on just because I want to look awesome, not just because there's sun in my eyes or something dumb like that. Example: Yesterday in church there was a lady sitting next to me in a black business suit and sunglasses. I am not kidding. She was pretty fly. (Except when she couldn't find the hymnal and she was too cool to look on with my large-print edition. There are apparently slim pickings in the back row, just fyi.)

20. Read the books that are on my shelf and I have never read. Examples: The Namesake. Love in the Time of Cholera. Mrs. Dalloway. The Road. Complete Works of Harold Pinter, Volume Two. Also, reread some of the ones I read in high school that I don't remember, such as The Stranger.

21. Write something. I really love to write things; this past year I started both a play and a novel and I really like both of them a lot. Finding the time is difficult, but it's so rewarding to have something on paper that I completely thought up. Perhaps that is narcissistic, but I would really like to finish one of them, or at least make significant progress.

Whew. I'm exhausted just thinking about this list. Wish me luck!

I saw the strangest movie last night.

2009-01-10T14:55:00.000-08:00

It's called Death Becomes Her, and I thought it deserved a blog post, if nothing else. I was bored and flipping through the free movies on my Comcast On Demand channel when I came upon this one. I had heard of the title before, and the brief description informed me that it was a comedy starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, and Bruce Willis. Why not?

A brief plot summary: Meryl (a has-been Broadway actress) and Goldie (a writer) have been friends forever, but they are total you-know-whats and have always been incredibly jealous of each other. When Meryl steals Goldie's fiance (Bruce) and marries him, it's the last straw. Goldie, after gaining about a million pounds and admitting herself into a mental hospital, realizes the only remaining plan of action is to kill Meryl. Fast forward seven years. Goldie mysteriously looks amazing. Meryl, a plastic surgery junkie, is directed to a strange woman's lair where she acquires a potion that ensures she will remain young (and alive) forever. Meanwhile Goldie, who is having an affair with Bruce, is plotting to kill Meryl; her plan is thwarted, however, when Bruce gets fed up and pushes his wife down the stairs. Oh, and did I mention Goldie has also taken the eternal-life potion?

I won't give away what happens, because I don't want to spoil anything. This movie is hilarious in a very dark way. You'll be laughing out loud and the whole thinking "why on earth am I laughing?" The special effects are pretty amazing too. It isn't one that I'd watch over and over, but I highly recommend checking it out.

warning: this is a pretty random post.

2009-01-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: this is very important.

Yesterday, I bought a set of new makeup brushes. I really like them a lot. (Sonia Kashuk at Target, if anyone's interested.) On the back of the box, it advised that you should wash the brushes with soap and water regularly. Hmm, I thought to myself. That's a good idea. So when

I got home, I got out my old makeup brush, a cheap Wal-Mart one that I have been using for several years. I washed it out with soap and water and laid it to dry on a paper towel on my counter. Fast forward to late last night, right before I was about to wash my face for bed. I was curious if the brush was dry yet, so I picked it up. And stared at the paper towel. On the spot where the bristles had been, the paper towel was GREEN AND SPOTTED. I was really confused at first... I have never once used that brush for anything green. Then the shocking realization hit me. There was mold growing inside that thing. I picked up the wet brush to smell... and it was possibly the most putrid thing I have ever smelled. Yes, friends. There was green mold growing

inside the makeup brush I use almost every day on my face. I ran to the trash can and threw it away. Yuck. Anyways, the moral of the story: Wash your makeup brushes. I plan on washing my new ones regularly. And just to be on the safe side, this morning I washed out that little round thing I use to put powder on. Mold: it's out to get you.

some other life updates:

1. I have been in a very "decorative" mood lately. I got a new bookcase the other night as an early birthday present from Mom. It is 6 feet tall and took me and three friends quite awhile to put together but I love it! As a result of this purchase, I had to rearrange the furniture in my room. I really like the way it looks now. I moved the ugly un-matching small bookcase I used to have into my bathroom and although it's a bit cramped in there now, it's a nice shelf for towels and stuff. Here are some pictures of the new and updated apartment 106 in all its glory:

There is only one problem. My windows are bare. They need curtains. I want black and white curtains. I am not really even that picky. I just want some type of curtains that are black and white and have a pattern on them. And they don't exist anywhere. I've checked Lowe's, Bed Bath and Beyond, Wal-Mart, Target, Hobby Lobby, and a couple other places too. I'm going to check out the mall this weekend and see if I can find any there.

2. I really like listening to Pandora Internet radio. I hadn't listened to it much lately, but when I clicked on over there yesterday, I discovered possibly the coolest thing ever. It's a "gadget" for your Windows Vista sidebar that plays your Pandora stations! It's so cute! It's just hanging out there, a tiny rectangle in the corner of my screen, and it does all the same things as that ENTIRE bulky webpage did! You can even thumbs-up, thumbs-down, and skip songs just like you can on the normal site! CRAZY!

Here's baby Pandora, looking all hip and totally better than that old one that I would accidentally forget and close out of, inevitably while it was playing my favorite song. I love you, little Pandora. If I have children I hope they look like you.

EDIT: When I said I wanted my children to look like you, I meant the actual music-playing box of wonder, not the creepy cartoon alien on the cover of the Rogue Wave album that is currently playing. I forgot that was even there.

(and yes, I purposely screen-captured it while it was playing a very obscure hip indie song. this is sure to give me some street cred. yessss.)

you can download the pandora gadget here.

3. I just finished an extremely good book: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. I know that probably everyone in the world has already read it, but I LOVED it. It's one of the saddest stories I have ever heard, and yet still uplifting at the same time. I strongly recommend it, although not when you are busy because it's hard to put down.

4. Speaking of Pandora, mine has played the same song twice in the past fifteen minutes. (One is a live version, so I guess it didn't know.) But I am not complaining because a) I had never heard the live version before and b) the first time it came on, I was reminscing back to last May. This song, "Me and Jiggs" by Josh Ritter, is the first song I ever really played on the guitar. Well -- saying I played is kind of a stretch. My friend Kara and I were both "kind of" learning to play and we each knew a few basic chords. We were listening to this song a lot then, and it's just a really simple song and I looked it up and the chords were easy, so it was an obvious choice. After a few frustrating tries apiece, we finally came to the realization that there was a much easier method to play: take turns. As in, she would strum the C chord, and while she was busy figuring out how to change fingering, I could chime in with the A minor or whatever. After a few agonizing hours of practice, we had the song down pretty well using the alternating-chords method [(c) 2008, Allison Lott and Kara Graves, all rights reserved]. Bursting with pride at our newfound musical talent, we called our friend Hunter to come over and listen. So he did. And I think we sounded incredibly awful and the song was unrecognizable (not to mention he didn't know it in the first place, and we were so concentrated on the guitar that we could only mumble the words). But he's a good sport, so he pretended we were good. So, having proclaimed ourselves guitar geniuses, neither of us practiced again for at least a month. (Disclaimer: I can actually play some songs by myself now. It took a long time, and while it sounds slightly better than our dorm-room jam session, it's not nearly as entertaining.)

I think it is my bedtime. I also think that probably no one read this far.

(P.S. in five days it is my twenty-first birthday!)

2008-12-29T22:03:00.001-08:00

snow patrol - take back the city

take back the city for yourself tonight

i'll take back the city for me...

god knows you've put your life into its hands

and it's both cradled you and crushed

but now it's time to make your own demands

all these years later and it's killing me

your broken records and words

ten thousand craters where it all should be

no need to put your words into my mouth

don't need convincing at all

i love this place enough to have no doubt

it's a mess

it's a start

it's a flawed work of art

your city, your call

every crack, every wall

pick a side, pick a fight

get your epitaph right

you can sing till you drop

'cause the fun just never stops

i love this city tonight

i love this city always

it bares its teeth like a light

and spits me out after days

but we're all gluttons for it

we know it's wrong and it's right

for every time it's been hit

take back the city tonight

tell me you never wanted more than this

and I will stop talking now

one perfect partner, one eternal kiss

take back the city for yourself tonight

i'll take back the city for me

take back the city for yourself tonight

i love this city tonight

i love this city always

( some end-of-the-year music thoughts are here if anyone's interested )

the verdict is in...

2008-12-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

... and I have narcolepsy.

The nurse at the Sleep Center called me this morning to let me know my results. Out of the five naps I took, the average time it took me to fall asleep was 5.2 minutes. Apparently anything less than eight minutes is abnormal. (Who knew?) Also, I entered dream sleep in four out of five naps. Which means that I definitely have narcolepsy. The doctor is prescribing me the drug Provigil, which is a stimulant I will take every morning to help me remain alert throughout the day. It should not stop me from being able to fall asleep at night, which is good. I have a packet of scientific information about the neurochemistry of the drug, which I have been meaning to read. I should probably get around to doing that sometime. I am going in tomorrow to pick up a one-week sample of the drug and hopefully I will get to talk to the doctor, because I would like to ask him some questions. For example: will the condition get worse throughout life? (I sincerely hope not.) Anyways, that's all I know for now. I am pretty bummed out that I have to start taking medicine because I have never had to take it before. I will probably forget a lot...

sleep study... DUNZO.

2008-12-18T20:03:00.001-08:00

At around 8:30 Wednesday night, I arrived once again at the Sleep Center to begin my study. I sat in a waiting area for a few minutes with three or four others, all of whom were much older than me. I was then shown to Room #3, which according to the technologist Dustin, was "not quite the Hilton, but not too bad either." He asked what time I normally went to sleep and I told him 11 (kind of a lie, considering I haven't gone to bed before midnight for weeks). So he left and I read my book for the next hour and a half or so. At 10, Dustin returned to begin the laborious process of hooking up all the necessary wires and electrodes. Guys, this process is not for the faint of heart. The first step involved a lot of measurement of my head and marking it with a marker in various points. He then put some kind of jelly-like paste on the many spots where the electrodes had to go, cheerfully informing me that five years ago, they had to use Super-Glue for this. (I shudder at the thought of washing globs of Super-Glue out of my hair.)

Once the glue was in place, it was time for the wires. I would say there were approximately ten different electrodes and wires on my head alone. In addition, there were also two EKG wires on my chest to monitor heart rate and two wires on each ankle to test for Restless Leg Syndrome. Once I laid down, he fastened one strap around my torso and one around my abdomen that had respiratory sensors in them to keep track of when I was breathing. Then he inserted a "nasal cannula" which is one of those clear tubes that has two sprouts that go into each nostril, as well as something underneath called a thermal coupler consisting of two wires that somehow tracked if I breathed through my mouth. I might add that many of these tubes and wires were hooked behind my ears. My ears are quite tiny, and this became quite painful when trying to fall asleep and lay on the side of my head. As a final touch, almost an afterthought, he placed my right pointer finger in some sort of large plastic contraption that was connected to yet another wire. It was strange and I can't figure out what the purpose of that one was.

After all this was hooked up, it was almost eleven. Dustin turned out my lights so it was pitch black in the room and left. He then proceeded to talk to me through the speaker next to my bed and guide me through the "Patient Calibration Exercises." This consisted of commands: Lay there with your eyes open. Lay there with your eyes closed. Move your eyes to the right. Left. Straight ahead. Up. Down. Flex your right ankle. Flex your left ankle. Grit your teeth. (et cetera.) After the calibration exercises were finished, I was instructed to get comfortable. It took me a good five minutes to figure out even a remotely comfortable position. And then it took me forever to fall asleep. The next morning, they told me that it took twenty minutes, but I am used to being out as soon as I hit the pillow so it felt like AGES to me. I didn't sleep all that well. (I think the box on my finger was the clincher. I like to sleep with my hand under the pillow and that made things difficult.)

At 6 a.m., I was awakened by Dustin's voice over my speaker. He came in and removed the breathing straps, nose tubes, and the finger box (thank goodness.) A few minutes later, Dr. LeGrand, the doctor I had seen the day before, came in to discuss the results of the overnight test with me. I do not have sleep apnea, I do not snore, and I do not have Restless Leg Syndrome. (No surprises here.) Basically all this told them was that I needed to stay for the daytime Multiple Sleep Latency Test, affectionately known as MSLT. I knew I was going to have to do this anyway. After receiving a breakfast of a cold bagel and strawberry cream cheese, I was instructed to stay awake for two hours so that I could begin the next test. I watched the Today Show for awhile and read a couple magazines I had brought with me. At around 8:30, however, when my first test was scheduled to begin, the power went out in the hospital. It was kind of a bummer because it stayed out for about 20 or 30 minutes and there wasn't much I could do. The emergency generator powered the hall light and my bathroom light, but there was still not enough light in the room to read and obviously the TV would not work. I remembered about halfway through the power outage that I had my iPod with me, and I listened to some Fleet Foxes until the lights came back on. It took awhile for the computers to boot back up after that, so the first test didn't start until about 9:15.

The tests consisted of five naps at various times throughout the day. Basically, I would perform the patient calibration exercises, the nurse would tell me to take a nap, and then about 30 minutes later she would wake me up. Then I would wait for an hour or two. In between I watched a lot of TV even though the hospital does not have a very good selection of TV channels. I also read some of Enduring Love, but I kind of had a headache and reading was making me want to fall back asleep again, an activity from which I was strictly prohibited between authorized naps (for obvious reasons).

I didn't finish until about 5:15 pm. The nurse told me to be expecting a phone call either Monday afternoon or Tuesday after Dr. LeGrand had a chance to look at my results. However, she did say that from what she could tell my tests did exhibit symptoms of narcolepsy. With a very concerned tone, she advised me to be careful driving home. And that is the (not very exciting) story of my sleep study. It was, in all truthfulness, pretty boring. A DVD player would have made it a little better. Or perhaps a bunch of friends all completing the study with me. Actually... that might be fun. It would be like a slumber party. And it would provide for some good photo ops. Next birthday, anyone?

some appropriate music:

third eye blind - narcolepsy

blitzen trapper - sleepytime in the western world

jason mraz - sleep all day

wish me luck...

2008-12-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have just returned from the Huntsville Hospital Sleep Disorders Center where I had a consultant with a sleep specialist. For some time now I have suspected that I may have a sleep disorder, possibly narcolepsy. The doctor confirmed my suspicions, but to be sure I have to return to the Sleep Center TONIGHT to have a sleep study done. Maybe I am a nerdy medical student, but I am kind of excited about this.

Here's what is going to happen: I show up at 8:30 this evening, with an overnight bag packed "as I would for an overnight stay at a hotel or a friend's house." Beforehand, my hair has to be washed with just shampoo, not conditioner (EEK) and I am not allowed to wear any type of makeup or lotion. (In other words, I will look like a raving frizzy-haired dry-skinned lunatic.) Once I arrive, I will get settled into my comfortable hotel-style accomodations. They will then hook up about a thousand wires to me. According to the helpful pamphlet:

"Next, approximately two dozen sensors which are generally small metal discs (called electrodes) are applied to the skin of your head and body using an adhesive. These sensors monitor... brain waves, muscle movements, eye movements, breathing through your mouth and nose, snoring, heart rate, and leg movements. Flexible elastic belts around your chest and abdomen measure your breathing. A clip on your finger or earlobe monitors the level of oxygen in your blood and your heart rate."

When I wake up in the morning, it is not over. I will be sticking around for the MSLT (Multiple Sleep Latency Test), which consists of a series of naps throughout the day using the same monitoring equipment. A staff of trained technicians in the next room will be monitoring everything about me while I sleep. Hopefully everything will turn out all right! Expect an update tomorrow evening after I return from my adventures in the Sleep Center!

P.S. I am not allowed to drink caffeine before my study begins. Of course, I am having caffeine withdrawal symptoms right now. If I had known, I would have loaded up this morning.

pomegranates & other things

2008-12-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

I happen to absolutely love pomegranates. They might be the most fun thing to eat ever. What other fruit allows you to eat a spoonful of SEEDS? I mean, hello. However, although pomegranates are delicious, they come with their fair share of problems. If you research the correct way to extract the seeds from the fruit, it goes something like this:

1. Slice pomegranate in half.

2. Score each half into several sections.

3. Hold sections in a bowl of water, releasing the seeds. The seeds will sink, and all the white stuff will magically float up to the top.

4. Scoop out the white stuff, drain the water.

5. Enjoy.

Sounds pretty simple, right? Wrong. When I prepare it, the steps usually go something like this:

1. Slice pomegranate in half.

2. Look down, realize that I am wearing a white shirt which is now covered with many miniature purple splotches. Lament for approximately five seconds. Change shirt into something dark red or purple, soaking aforementioned shirt with Oxi-Clean (TM) or similar product to try to remove stains as quickly as possible. Return to kitchen.

3. Score each half into several sections.

4. Hold sections in a bowl of water, painstakingly pulling out every little cluster of seeds. Most of the seeds sink, except for the ones that still have tiny bits of white stuff clinging to them. These can't decide whether to float or sink so they hover in a kind of halfway limbo. Try to remove white bits from seeds, but they never seem to go away. Give up and realize that eating a little bit of white stuff is not going to hurt me (right?)

5. Wish that I had some sort of small strainer to scoop out the white stuff floating on top, but I don't. So I use my hands and it takes about ten minutes. Meanwhile, all this unrest in the water is making the seeds rather uneasy. Some more seeds with clinging white particles float into the limbo position.

6. Give up completely on removing white matter. It's probably loaded with fiber, anyway.

7. Strain seeds.

8. Enjoy.

Also, I am now officially finished with my first semester of medical school. Hooray! I am planning a very full Christmas break. Tomorrow I am headed home to Huntsville for the holidays. Here are the books I am taking home with me:

Obviously I will probably not get through all of these books. If anyone has any suggestions as to which ones I should go for first, please let me know! The only one I have read before is Enduring Love by Ian McEwan, but the other ones are all new.

*NOTE: Tricia, if you are reading this, that is your copy of The Kite Runner. I am sorry for keeping it this long but I really, truly am going to read it over break and I will bring it back to you ASAP.

just in case...

2008-12-07T08:45:00.001-08:00

In case the gifts on my previous "Holiday Gift Guide" entry were STILL too much for your budget, may I suggest this affordable alternative:

http://www.fruper.com/

Note that it is shipped DIRECTLY from China. Yippee!

the annual christmas gift guide

2008-11-26T18:18:00.000-08:00

I was perusing through my latest issue of Elle yesterday when I came across the Holiday Gift Guide section. Economic times are tough, explained the editor's introduction. So we've included an under-$100 gift section for those of you strapped for cash. How kind of them. I turned the page, eager with anticipation. And here is what I found.

1. Tiffany & Co. playing cards. For the mere price of $30, you get not only one, but TWO decks of playing cards printed

with the

jeweler's logo. For that woman in your life who's always lusted after something from Tiffany but can't afford jewelry...

2. Needlepoint coin purse. $28. This one's a steal, folks. I don't really know if there's anything else I can say about it.

3. This one is perhaps my favorite of all: a silver ChapStick lid for $75. Yes. You read that correctly. I know every time I use my ChapStick, I look at the white plastic lid with disdain. I wish you were more valuable, I secretly think to myself. Well never fear, fashionable lip balm addicts, Jack Spade has come to the rescue. (I think it can also be engraved, in case you were wondering.)

In conclusion: I know that stocks have plummeted and many of my faithful readers are finding themselves in dire financial situations. However, you will now be able to rest easily knowing that your gift-hunting days are over now that you can purchase these economical and PRACTICAL options for everyone you know. Happy shopping.

P.S. I have posted my review of the Iron & Wine concert, complete with photos, HERE. yay!

IT'S HOT.

2008-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

This morning, excited about the presence of winter, I donned my wool hiking socks, closed-toed shoes, a thermal undershirt, a T-shirt, and my new Marmot jacket. An excellent outfit. Or so I thought until I walked into the classroom. At the beginning of class at 8:30, it wasn't so bad. However, by 11 am, the temperature in the first-year auditorium was sweltering. After a refreshing CMDA lunch (free pizza in the much cooler conference room), I returned to the classroom and it had gotten even worse. It was at LEAST 90 degrees. So I removed my hiking socks and shoes, but even barefoot, I am seriously regretting the thermal shirt right now. Although apparently they are working on fixing the air conditioner. A large crowd of people seem to have congregated around the sketchy closet door down at the front of the room.

Well, I'm off to take my FOD test. Wish me luck!

There's a little Meg Ryan in everyone.

2008-11-16T11:44:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that three little words can change the course of my entire afternoon. You've Got Mail. I am convinced that this is the one movie I will never, ever get tired of watching. I can practically quote the entire thing. Right now it's playing on ABC Family, and as much as I hated to tear myself away from studying for Fundamentals of Doctoring, I had to do it. And I would like to share with you, my faithful reader, some thoughts from this cinematic masterpiece that never fail to make me smile.

"Joe? Just call me Joe? As though you were one of those stupid 22 year old girls with no last name? Hi, I'm Kimberly, hi I'm Janice. Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name? It's like they're an entire generation of cocktail waitresses."

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self. Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino."

"Sometimes I wonder... if i hadn't been Fox Books, and you hadn't been The Shop Around the Corner, and you and I had just met... I would've asked for your number. And I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling you up and saying, hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee, or drinks, or dinner, or a movie...

for as long as we both shall live?"

2008-11-12T09:03:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about something yesterday. How many people in the world actually love what they do every day? When someone asks me if I like medical school, I usually respond with a yes, but when it's time to break out the books and study, I'd rather be doing anything else. No secret: I hate studying. It's not that I hate learning the information; on the contrary, I really enjoy learning. On the rare occasion that I do feel prepared for a test and I do well, it's a great feeling. And I think when we get into the hospital and start actually applying the information, I'll like it a lot more.

But it never fails: when I sit down with my PowerPoint slides, I start thinking of all the things I'd rather be doing. For example - it would be really fun to be a host on The Today Show. I'd probably have to wake up early, but who cares when you get to wear expensive shoes and coats and travel to fun places and interview politicians and celebrities? Do they love what they do every morning? Are they more excited than I am to get out of bed? (I sincerely hope so.) Or what if I was a movie reviewer? Do they get tired of going to see movies day in and day out? What about people with (slightly more boring) desk jobs? I'd be curious to see a national poll of how many people actually love what they do all day long. Because right now, it's not so much fun for me. But hopefully it will get better...

EMERGENCY NEWS FLASH: if you eat a dozen raw egg whites a day for several years, you WILL develop a condition known as avidin-associated biotin malabsorption. It is a scary disease. Symptoms are alopecia, scaly dermatitis, and a waxy, grayish pallor. Dr. Lane is currently entertaining us with an anecdote of a "wild Irishman who lived on the south side of Boston" who apparently drank 12-15 beers a night during the times when they cracked a raw egg into the glass before they served you a beer. He contracted this disease. And you, my friend, could be next.

QUESTION FOR THE GENERAL POPULATION:

How often is too often to wear my purple shoes? Lately they seem to match everything I own and I'm worried that people are going to think of me as "that girl who wears purple shoes." Which wouldn't be so bad, actually. There are definitely worse nicknames I could think of...

"there ain't nothing like that rock 'n roll..." [ grace potter and the nocturnals concert review ]

2008-11-09T14:37:00.000-08:00

This is LONG overdue.

In short: Grace Potter ROCKS. I want to be her. If medical school doesn't work out, rock stardom is calling my name. It was a weird night - it was pouring down AWFUL rain, we got there an hour early, and to top it all off we spent 30 minutes beforehand chatting it up with one of our biochemistry professors and his wife, who apparently are also GP+TN fans (!). Who knew. Randomness aside, they are one of the most energetic live bands I have ever experienced.

All photographs are (c) Kacie Jackson, whose camera is more conveniently-sized for concertgoing than my own.

I BELIEVE...

2008-11-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

that we will have achieved true racial equality in this country when the day comes where we can elect an African-American president without obsessing over it. Without patting ourselves on the back about how far we've come. Without interviewing people on the news 24/7 about how happy they are to have a President that "looks like me." When we can truly see PAST the color of someone's skin and focus on the person inside, the issues he supports, and the values he holds.

2008-11-06T06:30:00.001-08:00

I voted on Tuesday.

It was my first presidential election in which to participate, and I felt incredibly honored and privileged to be able to take part in this ritual that defines America.

The Presidential candidate I voted for did not win the election. In fact, he was defeated by a wide margin by someone who I do not necessarily agree with, but who has inspired a generation of Americans to stand up for their country and enthusiastically take part in the political process. While I admit I do feel disappointed, it's become increasingly clear to me over the last two days that the attitude of this country has taken a 180 degree turn. The phrase "proud to be an American" has been uttered countless times since the election, and while I don't think national pride should be contingent on which political party has control of the government, it's refreshing to see everyone so positive.

I'm not a Democrat, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a nervous about the policies Obama has promised to enact. But after this historic November 4th, I'm refusing to be negative about the future of our country. To see my generation inspired to stand up for what they believe is right is a beautiful thing. And if in four years our President has not lived up to his reputation, I'll truly be sorry. If he is capable of uniting this many people in his campaign, who knows what great things he has the potential to achieve while in office. All we can do is pray that God's will be done.

2008-10-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well will know exactly where I can be found at 10:30 pm (Central Time) every Monday through Thursday. Usually, I am curled up in front of my television with a bowl of ice cream watching The Colbert Report. This week, he had TWO excellent musical guests. I would like to share these with you, my loyal reader.

Yo Yo Ma

He's hilarious. And phenomenally talented.

The interview:

The performance:

Don't forget to check out the crazy girl on the bagpipe-like instrument...

Wilco

Jeff Tweedy & the crew, premiering "Wilco: The Song."

Love it.

It's a large possibility...

2008-10-30T18:04:00.000-07:00

... that no one will find this amusing except me. But here goes. One of my favorite music blogs that I read almost daily is known as I AM FUEL, YOU ARE FRIENDS. A woman named Heather Browne writes it, and it's great. Well, the other day, Nick Hornby, debatably my favorite author of all time, and who coincidentally also has phenomenal taste in music, wrote about his playlist here in the New York Times. Besides describing a rather interesting playlist, the article gave a shoutout to Fuel/Friends as being one of his favorite sites. After congratulating myself on the fact that Nick and I are obviously soulmates (we share taste in music AND music blogs) I proceeded to read the comment section. Almost immediately, a posting by one "RGT" caught my attention.

Dearest Nick. You realize that Gen X indie geeks the world over seethe with intense jealousy that you get to write things like this for the NY Times, right?

Ah well. One day *I’ll* sum up modern pop-culture-steeped maledom in the Novel Of My Generation, and then I too will be paid to tell millions of people worldwide about my awesome playlists. Of course, everyone’ll justifiably accuse me of being a “Hornby-esque” poseur, but hey, what’s a tarnished reputation when you’re living the dream?

‘Til then, more power to you, brother!

I couldn't have summed it up better myself. Thanks, RGT.

And thanks, Dr. Honkanen, for making today's biochemistry exam next to impossible. Happy Halloween!

P.S.If I have to see the word "phosphorylates" again, I think I might throw up.

P.P.S. New post at Musical Moxie. Obviously I'm studying hard.

ISTJ

2008-10-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've always been kind of obsessed with personality tests. It used to be all those random ones on the Internet, like "which Friends character are you?" and "which Disney princess are you?" (I'm pretty sure it was Ross. And Belle. If anyone cares.)

But now that I'm all in med school and everything, I've turned my attention to slightly more legitimate kinds of personality tests. And as much as I hate to admit that something in Fundamentals of Doctoring class has sparked my interest... something in Fundamentals of Doctoring class HAS sparked my interest. Namely, the Myers-Briggs test. We took it in class the other day and I'm an ISTJ. Known as the "Inspector," I apparently share my personality type with the likes of George Washington, Herbert Hoover, George H.W. Bush, Condolleezza Rice, Julia Roberts, and Eeyore. (Some of those are more encouraging comparisons than others.)

I also found this article the other day. It talks about the Myers-Briggs personality types of three Presidential candidates: Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain.

http://www.slate.com/id/2184696/

I think it's kind of fascinating, and it explains a lot about my feelings toward each of the three. For example, Obama (an ENFP) is my complete opposite, while Hillary and I are surprisingly similar. Anyways, I don't know the accuracy of this stuff or how much it can actually be taken seriously, but it's something to think about. :)

A few other notes of interest:

1. I'm going to see GRACE POTTER AND THE NOCTURNALS in two days. I am unbelievably excited. It's been way too long since I've been to a concert.

2. Newest addition to my ever-expanding music library: Simple Times by Joshua Radin. It's excellent in every way.

3. I think I might have a sleep disorder. More on that later.

4. Battle of the Sexes is a really fun game.

5. I've been playing the guitar a whole lot lately. I can now play "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," which is my favorite hymn ever. Also the new Taylor Swift song, "Fearless," is really fun to play.

Four things:

2008-09-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

1. I wish you could all see the intensive playlist infrastructure that exists on my iTunes. Not only am I obsessed with making the darn things, I'm the worst playlist packrat ever - I'm like, why delete it? I'll just put it in a folder inside a folder inside another folder so in case I ever wonder just what I was in the mood for at four in the afternoon on some random day in 2006, it'll be right at my fingertips.

2. One thing I absolutely love about Mobile: the radio. Seriously, it's amazing. I've started listening to this one station (92.1, if anyone's interested) that I swear has never played a song I don't like, with the exception of the occasional John Mayer. Which I can totally deal with. Just as an example, here are songs that all played on the RADIO on one day last week:

Spoon - The Underdog (I made a "soundtrack to my life" CD last year. This is track #1.)

The Beatles - All You Need Is Love (everyone I know that plays the trumpet: please stand up at my wedding and surprise me with this song. See Love Actually for inspiration.)

Weezer - Mrs. Robinson (okay, so it's a weak imitation of the original, but it always makes me laugh. A lot.)

Ryan Adams - New York, New York (I about hyperventilated. I LOVE THIS SONG.)

Needtobreathe - Washed by the Water

3. WHY hasn't my Elle magazine come yet? I subscribed over a month ago. Lest you think me shallow for subscribing to a fashion magazine - think again. It's phenomenal. And the articles are amazing. I feel ten times smarter every time I pick one up. You think I'm kidding... but I'm not.

4. Med school schmed school.

political rant

2008-09-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry, but I have to.

I feel like if someone says "I am a Republican" these days, it is assumed that they are one of these two things:

1. a gun-toting, uneducated, war-loving Baptist farmer.

2. the head of a multimillion dollar corporation who hates people and only cares about money.

Just for the record, I consider myself to be a Republican, and I fall into neither of the above categories. I will never own a gun. I don't think the war in Iraq was a good idea. I am not Baptist. I am intelligent and educated. I buy fair-trade coffee. I am pro-life because I think that life is a sacred thing and should be preserved whenever possible -- which means that not only do I oppose the practice of unnecessary abortion, but I also disagree with the death penalty and I think that sending soldiers into combat should be a last resort and only done when in a case of extreme necessity.

I vote Republican because I value patriotism, capitalism, and the efficiency of the free market. I think the government tends to waste more time and money than is necessary, and I'd like that to change. As a future healthcare professional, I know that the current health insurance system is in dire need of improvement and I think going to a socialized medicine system would be a step in the wrong direction. We need an alternate solution. I think that as a country we need to work towards becoming not only energy-independent, but finding alternative sources of sustainable energy, and that imposing huge taxes on the oil corporations is not going to solve any of our problems. I believe that the President of the United States is one of the most powerful positions in the world, and I want the person who takes that office to have plenty of experience in government.

I have a lot of friends that are much more liberal than me, and I have a lot of respect for them. As a group, the Democrats have an idealism that never fails to impress me. Just because I don't agree with their political ideals doesn't make me respect them as people any less. However, when I hear people ridiculing myself and my political party by calling them Fascist, incompetent, greedy, or any other such label, it makes me wonder why so many liberals seem to have inherited the superiority complex that allows them to feel good about degrading the beliefs that are held by half the country.

Thoughts?

MY LIFE'S GOAL...

2008-09-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

is to be as witty as this man.

also, two things:

1. The use of proper spelling and punctuation is absolutely crucial to the cohesiveness of anything. And it annoys me to no end when people don't take the time to check these things before they publish something - whether it be a book, a magazine, a blog entry, or a PowerPoint for a class lecture. If someone else is reading it, they are going to be making judgments about you. The portrayal of yourself as intelligent and collected is well worth the few seconds it takes to check over a sentence.

2. Test block numero uno is now completed. I came out alright (is it "all right" or "alright?" I'll never know. Also, I wish I were British so that I could place the previous question mark outside the quotation marks. But alas, I was born in America, where our punctuation methods make no sense.) Anyway, I came out with B's all around. Not horrible, but definitely in the lower range of the class. I'll have to work on that. My goal is to make an A on the next gross anatomy test. We'll see...

More later. It's my bedtime.

Someone asked me this evening...

2008-09-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

... what my favorite Beatles song was.

A fairly straightforward question, but the implications are incredibly far-reaching. My first reaction when an inquiry such as this comes my way is a wave of excitement. Because I love making lists, and ranking things, and having favorites, and I get happy when I find someone to share with.

At the same time, though, there's a gnawing anxiety. What is their ulterior motive for asking? Are they going to (silently or out loud) ridicule my tastes for being too obvious, or for being too obscure? Do they want a top five list or just one? A top five list would probably be going overboard, but how on earth can you pick just one? And what if my favorite Beatles song is the one they can't stand?

Then I start to worry about my own memory. What if I just say the first song that comes to my mind, but it's really not my favorite and it won't hit me until tomorrow what my actual favorite is? At that point I'd have to update the person. And what if I discover a new gem in the next few days that replaces the top spot? I would probably mention it, but does this mean I'm obligated to keep this person updated on Beatles song status for the next twenty years as I acquire new music and as my tastes change? And then there's the issue of once I've said out loud that "this is my favorite song," is it going to influence my listening patterns? I don't want to feel guilt-tripped into liking something forever just because I liked it one day in September when someone happened to ask me about it.

I think my brain works too hard sometimes. That said, I still love these conversations. And I absolutely adore making top five lists. (hello, High Fidelity!)

Also, in case you were wondering - my favorite Beatles song is a tie between "Revolution 1" and "Hey Jude." These have stayed fairly constant for the past few years, so I'm probably safe to put it in writing, don't you think?

the little things

2008-08-25T16:05:00.000-07:00

Whenever I have a rough day, for some reason it's not the big things that stress me out the most (like the fact that I have three looming tests and I'm not even close to prepared for any of them). Just give me a little time, and I can deal with that. It's the little things. Like the new haircut -- it's really light, and my ponytail is cute, and I feel as though I should love it, but for some reason I just miss my long hair a lot. And the minor flash flood that occurred in the floor of the back seat of my car today and I can't figure out why. And the fact that I've lived in my apartment for three weeks and I still don't have a shower head and my kitchen light is going to give me a seizure one of these days. And my musical incompetence - I just can't get the guitar chords to sound right, no matter what I do.

But it's the little things, too, that can make it better. Like the new espresso maker that should be arriving tomorrow (assuming FedEx comes after 4:00... keep your fingers crossed.) And the text messages from old friends. And the loaf of pumpkin bread sitting on my kitchen table right now, made and given to me by someone from the church I visited yesterday.

I don't even know how to describe medical school. It's without a doubt the most overwhelming thing I've ever tackled. And I've had more than a few moments of doubt, moments that make me wonder if I can do it. But right now, in this moment, I'm sitting on my couch, wrapped in a blanket, taking a rare but blissful study break, and Andrew Bird is singing to me through my computer speakers.

And it's the moments like these that make me think that maybe -- just maybe -- it's going to be okay.

it's been a long time...

2008-07-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

... since I wrote in here.

Starting in approximately two weeks, I will be a member of the University of South Alabama College of Medicine Class of 2012.

(Also, I love this song. It's like poetry, except with music, which is even better. Buy it, because it's worth your money.)

at night we crossed the border, following a black robe
to the edge of the reservation to Cataldo Mission
where the saints and all the martyrs look down on dying converts
what makes the water holy she says is that that it’s the closest thing to rain

I stole a mule from Anthony—I helped Anne up upon it
and we rode to Coeur d’Alene, through Harrison and Wallace
they were blasting out the tunnels, making way for the light of learning
when Jesus comes a’calling, she said, he’s coming round the mountain on a train

it’s my home—last night I dreamt that I grew wings
I found a place where they could hear me when I sing

we floated on to Hanford on a lumber boat up river
past the fisheries and the milltowns like a stretch of future graveyards
she was driven to distraction—said I wonder what will happen
when they find out they’re mistaken and the land is too changed to ever change
we waded through the marketplace—someone’s ship had come in
there was silver and begonias, dynamite and cattle
there were hearts as big as apples and apples in the shape of Mary’s heart
I said inside this gilded cage a songbird always looks so plain

it’s my home—last night I dreamt that I grew wings
I found a place where they could hear me when I sing

and so they came with cameras, breaking through the morning mist
press and businessmen, tycoons, Episcopal philanthropists
lost in their appraisal of the body of a woman
but all we saw were lowlands, clouds clung to mountains without strings

and at last we saw some people...
and at last we saw some people
huddled up against the rain that was descending like railroad spikes and hammers
they were headed for the border
walking and then running, then they were gone into the fog
but anne said underneath their jackets she saw wings...

. josh ritter, "wings"

More updates to come...

2008-03-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

The peace protesters were out on Airport Road today. For those of you who aren't from Huntsville, the intersection of Airport and Whitesburg is one of the busiest in town. Frequently on sunny Saturdays a group of ten or fifteen well-meaning citizens will congregate on this corner and hold up signs with sayings such as "END THE WAR." Now, while I don't agree with their politics (while I agree that it was probably not the wisest decision to enter the war in the first place, I don't think that immediate withdrawal from Iraq is a viable or safe solution to our problems), I do admire their idealism and dedication. However, I have to ask: is this a productive way to spend time? What, exactly, are they accomplishing by standing at an intersection waving posters around? They no doubt offend quite a few people, given that Huntsville is a largely military-populated city in the middle of a red state; I'm sure they expect this. But other than that, what is the purpose of this activity? I highly doubt anyone is going to change their vote based on a posterboard on a stick. If they are really, truly passionate about the cause of peace, why not do something? Write a letter to a congressman. Campaign for a specific candidate. Get involved in the political process. While I don't identify myself with the political left, I have a lot of respect for the passion I've seen in a lot of them and they seem to overall have more enthusiasm for politics than conservatives generally do. But why not put this passion toward something productive instead of standing on a random street corner?
Just a thought.

Happy Easter!

love & hate.

2008-03-07T21:32:00.001-08:00

five things i love:
1. The song "The Temptation of Adam" by Josh Ritter. You can listen to a gorgeous live NPR recording of it here if you're interested.
2. The fact that Josh, along with Ingrid Michaelson, is coming to Bottletree on May 4th and that I will be there.
3. The sheer talent of both actresses in Notes on a Scandal. Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett are absolutely, 100 percent perfect. Both of them capture the roles with such subtlety. That fight scene at the end, where Cate's wearing all the eyeliner... wow. Go see it. (Side note: I really want to see I'm Not There. I am thoroughly convinced of her ability to play a man and it just makes me curious.)
4. Go-Gurt. Remember those? Well, turns out they only have 70 calories apiece and they taste amazing if you keep them in the freezer. It's like an ice cream popsicle, except in flavors like "Scooby Doo's Cool Fruit Punch." The downside: You have to hunt to find a package that doesn't include the "Cotton Candy" flavor.
5. www.toothpastefordinner.com. Some of my favorites:
> know your body type
> movie quote (the story of my life)
> fifth day

five things i hate:
1. capital letters. enough said. i was probably e. e. cummings in a former life. (is he dead?)
2. FACEBOOK APPLICATIONS. No thank you, I do not want to "add some dope bling" to your profile. Nor do I want to give you a "werewolf hug." I'm only trying to find your wall amongst the colorful chaos that has abducted everything useful that used to be on your profile.
3. The fact that whoever lives directly above me feels the need to play the piano and the drums every day at such times as, oh, say 12:30 am. It varies, but it is always when I'm trying to sleep. Come on, have a little common sense or something.
4. A low of 34 degrees tonight when it is snowing pretty much everywhere north of here. That is probably the worst temperature I can think of: cold enough to be miserable but not cold enough for any fun precipitation.
5. The song "Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer. I kind of want to throw up every time I hear it, it's so awful.

because i love high fidelity...

2008-02-24T13:38:00.001-08:00

TOP FIVE DREAM JOBS:
1) Music coordinator for film and television, Los Angeles
I am not even joking, this is an actual job: creating soundtracks for movies and TV. I'd spend part of the day negotiating with record companies for broadcast rights, the other part of the day listening to the scads of free CDs I've received in the mail from up-and-coming bands, and every night go to a concert. I'm still in awe of the fact that people get paid for this.

2) Actress, National Theatre, London (the RSC or the West End would be all right too; I'm including them in this category.)
Okay, so the American accent might be a problem. But I'm thinking that once I broke into the scene, myriads of playwrights would begin writing in the role of the quirky American girl into their shows so that I could be in them. Or else someone would just teach me to pull off British.

3) Casting director, National Theatre, London
I would get to go see plays and showcases every night, probably with killer seats, for the sole purpose of scoping out talent so that I could recommend people to directors and help with their casting choices.

4) Entertainment journalist, Paste magazine. (Rolling Stone would be fine as well. Really, I'm not picky.)
I'd review music, books, movies, etc., which means I'd get a bunch of them for free, and ~~force~~ share my opinions and favorites with the world. So basically-- getting paid for what I do already.

5) Pediatric endocrinologist
Treating kids with hormonal disorders-- diabetes, growth hormone deficiency, thyroid problems, etc.

2008-02-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning when I wake up, I think, "Maybe today Physics 102 will have some sort of relevance or application to my life." And every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 9:15 my hopes are once again crushed against the classroom floor. Today, in the ten-minute working by my professor of a problem involving one entire blackboard, countless variables and unthinkably small numbers, and something about the number of electrons passing through a copper wire, I couldn't help but stare in amazement at the sheer ridiculousness (is that a word?) of the problem. I almost started laughing when he brought in the concept of the "mole," something that I thought I had gladly left behind in my days of general chemistry. Meanwhile, my professor's rapidly increasing energy level (no doubt due to his daily caffeine intake of one Diet Coke with Lime per class period) is causing the decibel level of his voice to rise to approximately the level of an excited Baptist preacher. (There's a reason why churches are built bigger than science classrooms.) And let me assure you, hellfire and damnation are much more interesting than electron-volts.

Anyway, I've begun to perfect my "fascinated/studious/I'm-absorbing-every-word-you-say" face, while in reality I am wishing I was anywhere but sitting in an uncomfortable chair, pretending to fastidiously copy down every exponent and every unit of measurement, when in reality I am actually watching the second hand on my watch tick, which I'm pretty sure slows down as soon as I walk into that classroom. Maybe that's the physics problem we should be solving -- how the department has created a time-warp state that makes every class feel like it lasts three hours.

I'm really not like this in all my classes. I promise.

Sometimes the numbers say it all.

2008-02-06T12:22:00.000-08:00

42: Number of minutes before my first class I woke up this morning. (That number gets smaller every day.)

3: Number of different VeggieTales ties my physics professor has worn so far this semester. Today it was the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, Monday it was Christmas themed (yes, in February) and the first day of school I believe it was a French Peas motif.

3: Average number of episodes of House M.D. referenced by Dr. Hunsinger in any given pathology class.

14: Average number of times I forget to pay attention in any given pathology class.

40: Estimated percentage of Samford that is currently sick with the flu.

11: Number of dollars I spent on echinacea and Airborne yesterday in order to avoid contracting the flu.

8: Number of days ago that I ordered all of my textbooks. (Not one has come in yet.)

10: Approximate number of copies of Medea contained in Samford's library.

2: Number of copies of Medea in Samford's library that are in English.

1: Number of copies of Medea in Samford's library that is in English and is not written on heavily in blue ink on every single page.

366: Number of Shakespearean insults I paid for when I bought my page-a-day calendar at the Globe Theatre.

314: Number of Shakespearan insults actually contained in the aforementioned page-a-day calendar; those sneaks put every Saturday and Sunday sharing the same page and therefore sharing the same insult.

10: Number of times today I have wished I was still in London.

welcome to samford!

2008-01-29T07:16:00.001-08:00

Last night, just before I went to bed and just after I had spent approximately three hours being crafty (I love not having homework yet) I made a wonderfully virtuous decision. I was going to wake up at eight o'clock in the morning, three HOURS before the start of my first class, and go to the gym. I know, I know. "You shouldn't have!" you're thinking. "You deserve your beauty sleep!" But having not seen the gym in over six weeks, I was determined. So eight hours later, I stumbled out of bed, visions dancing across my mind of myself happily jogging on the treadmill, stomach fat melting away. I donned my best workout gear, and Ruth and I got in the car (separate cars, she usually lasts about three times as long as me at these workout sessions) and drove over to the gym. I know it sounds ridiculous to drive to the gym that is on campus, but it's about a 20-minute walk and it's freezing outside. But once we get there, we realize that there is NO parking whatsoever. Apart from the three empty faculty spaces and the eight empty handicapped spaces. (At the gym. I know. Call me insensitive, but sometimes I wonder.) After a few minutes of driving around in circles, we realize that we have, in fact, been defeated by the sorority house residents who use the Hanna Center lot as their personal parking spaces, and no one looks like they're leaving anytime soon. So our choice was to either risk a $30 parking ticket or go back home. We chose the latter. Obviously someone up there was trying to prevent me from working out. Slightly irritated, I return to my room, looking forward to my hot shower. However, once I get in the shower, the water stayed hot for approximately two minutes, just long enough for me to wash my face, before turning ICE cold. We're not talking lukewarm... I might as well have been bathing in the Alps.

So I'm currently sitting here with a clean face and dirty, wet hair, (stomach fat still intact, muscles unworked) waiting to get back in the shower until the water temperature slightly resembles warm.

I just love Samford.