Having spent over a week in Britain, I've noticed a lot of the people here fall into distinct categories. For the benefit of those who haven't been here, or who don't have my (quite keen) observational skills, I've provided a rough guide to the aforementioned categories below.
1) The Arthur Weasley (aka the Beefeater)
"Jolly" is the only proper word to describe these men in the 30-60 age range. They are often a little plump, have a prominent mustache, sometimes a bald head, and a red face. Usually found either smiling or yelling at kids.
2) The Working Woman
She's dressed to kill, usually in all black, and wearing four-inch heels. Wears a facial expression conveying great importance. Always in a hurry. She doesn't look at you, but stares off into space as if contemplating the mystery of the universe... or maybe the intricacies of some corporate multimillion-pound merger. Although she doesn't look at anyone, she has the remarkable ability to maneuver large crowded streets without bumping into anything or anyone.
3) The Foreigner
Just when you thought you came to this country because everyone spoke English -- you were wrong. These can be anywhere: sitting next to you on public transportation, working behind your favorite shop counter, bumping into you on the street. Often found in greater numbers than native British.
4) The Implanted Earphones Guy
Usually in the 18-30 age range, he is often found riding the tube. Attire: black peacoat, striped scarf, nice jeans, expensive shoes, plenty of hair product. And, of course, the iPod earphones that are permanently attached to his ears. There is never any head-nodding or foot-tapping to let you know what he is listening to, however; he's way too suave for that. Occasionally one has been known to pull out a BlackBerry and start e-mailing.
5) The American Tourist
Travel in large packs of between 10 and 40 people. All ages, all sizes. Feel the need to talk at cosmic volume levels in order to communicate with their friend on the tube, who is approximately three inches away. Conversation is never of intellectual significance, but usually centers around who texted who, who got drunk when, and what shoes who bought.
1 month ago