Monday, August 25, 2008

the little things

Whenever I have a rough day, for some reason it's not the big things that stress me out the most (like the fact that I have three looming tests and I'm not even close to prepared for any of them). Just give me a little time, and I can deal with that. It's the little things. Like the new haircut -- it's really light, and my ponytail is cute, and I feel as though I should love it, but for some reason I just miss my long hair a lot. And the minor flash flood that occurred in the floor of the back seat of my car today and I can't figure out why. And the fact that I've lived in my apartment for three weeks and I still don't have a shower head and my kitchen light is going to give me a seizure one of these days. And my musical incompetence - I just can't get the guitar chords to sound right, no matter what I do.

But it's the little things, too, that can make it better. Like the new espresso maker that should be arriving tomorrow (assuming FedEx comes after 4:00... keep your fingers crossed.) And the text messages from old friends. And the loaf of pumpkin bread sitting on my kitchen table right now, made and given to me by someone from the church I visited yesterday.

I don't even know how to describe medical school. It's without a doubt the most overwhelming thing I've ever tackled. And I've had more than a few moments of doubt, moments that make me wonder if I can do it. But right now, in this moment, I'm sitting on my couch, wrapped in a blanket, taking a rare but blissful study break, and Andrew Bird is singing to me through my computer speakers.

And it's the moments like these that make me think that maybe -- just maybe -- it's going to be okay.

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