1. the person who smashes up all the makeup to photograph it for magazines. i think there would be something very therapeutic about pouring out a $55 jar of powder and then smearing a Chanel lipstick across a page. and getting paid for it.
2. game show host. everyone in the world perceives you as a genius when really all you have to do is read a teleprompter. maybe i could take over for alex trebek when he retires? i think "jeopardy host" would look rather impressive on my resume.
3. poet. i wonder how much money william carlos williams made for that red wheelbarrow poem? i could write that in four minutes flat. also, i would not be required to use capital letters, something in which i am clearly not in the mood for today.
4. homeless person. it worked out okay for this girl... and i don't see her slaving away over a pathology textbook until all hours of the night. win/win. and i could get free medical care by just going to my neighborhood ER every time i got a headache, right?
5. the person who writes the labels for vitamin water. i could SO be funnier.