I'm glad my university email account is used for such productive means...

A recent email I received, entitled: To all Starcraft enthusiasts at South Alabama!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Josue Ricardo Morales Cifuentes" <jrm605@jaguar1.usouthal.edu>
Date: Dec 15, 2009 7:01 PM
Subject: To all Starcraft enthusiasts at South Alabama!
To:

Gaming enthusiasts,

Although there are many challenging video games to master out there, only a
few rival the difficulty and breadth Starcraft Broodwars requires. Complex
game mechanics and engaging battles make this RTS not only engrossing but
delightful as spectator e-sport. Several students at South want to start a
University Student group that discusses, plays and enjoys the art of
Starcraft, thus, we would like to see if there is preliminary positive
reaction to this message. Interested parties should email Josue Morales to
jrm605@jaguar1.usouthal.edu for more information.

Good Game (gg),

Josue Morales
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The above message has been approved by University administration for
transmittal to student accounts.
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I have never been to New York. The city remains a mystery to me that exists only in the land of television and movies. I have begun to notice something lately that is rather mystifying. In TV-land New York City, there seems to be an endless supply of young, beautiful, and single people -- to the point where on every single episode the characters have new significant others. On a show like Sex and the City it's not so much of a stretch to me -- after all, they are four beautiful women that wear designer clothes and seem to spend every evening at bars, nice restaurants, and elite parties. Plus, there's a lot of overlap - one character will date someone for several episodes. Carrie Bradshaw probably spent most of the series agonizing over three or four serious boyfriends that she had. What really mystifies me, though, is Seinfeld. None of those characters seem to ever be single. Okay, so I'll buy it with Elaine and even Jerry (he's a comedian, after all), but is New York really full of that many single and desperate women that Kramer has a different girlfriend every week? Here in Alabama, it's taken me the better part of twenty-two years to find one boyfriend, and short, balding, unemployed George Costanza probably snags twenty beautiful women per year. Either the island of Manhattan is some kind of fantasy land, or I'm missing something.

greeting card identity theft?

Several weeks ago, I received a rather strange e-mail. It was from the friendly electronic greeting card company bluemountain.com, and it was thanking me for registering with them. Of course, I had done no such thing. They also addressed the email to Allison somebody else (I can't remember the last name but it was definitely not mine.) Apparently this person had used my email address to sign up with her greeting card company. "That's strange, and slightly annoying," I thought to myself. A few minutes later, I started to realize that Allison was having quite the busy evening sending e-cards, because I got another registration email from the American Greetings website. And then she sent one. Since they thought she lived in my computer, they sent me a copy of the card. I stared at it for a minute, thinking that it would be wrong to read someone else's correspondence, but of course I couldn't resist. One nauseating music-box style song and some chirping birds and bouncing flowers later, my heart was warmed by her heartfelt thank yous to someone named Joy for being such a good and encouraging friend. Was this wrong? I don't know. I felt a little guilty, but when you type in someone else's email address (someone whose name doesn't even resemble yours) to register for a website, then you're kind of asking for it. At least that's my perspective.

Fast forward to tonight. I seem to have been the victim of yet another unrelated email greeting card confusion. I received a copy of someone named Allison Lott's belated birthday wish from Aunt Cathy and Uncle David. I saw that the message was copied to both my address and a Baylor college email, so I'm assuming they just got confused and that this girl who is hopefully a Baylor student got her birthday card. So obviously, curiosity got the best of me once more and I clicked on the card. And let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. PLEASE look at this. I'm sorry, Aunt Cathy and Uncle David, whoever you are. I'm sure you meant well. But this might be the worst and creepiest card I have ever seen.

Happy Belated Birthday Allison!

I'd like to conclude with a public service announcement to the Internet users of the world: Please, please use your own e-mail address when sending greeting cards, because if you steal my identity and they get sent to me, I cannot be held responsible for any invasions of birthday-wishing privacy that may occur. Thanks and have a great day.

congratulations...

... to Andrew for winning the book. Sorry -- I wish I had enough to give one to all of you that entered! But all of you should definitely buy the book because it's awesome.

a friendly reminder

you can still win the book... today's your last chance to send me a story! i'm kind of sad because i haven't gotten very many entries. (so your chances are very good!) it doesn't have to be long. heck, it can be three sentences if you want. e-mail or comment it to me by tonight.

A MILLION MILES IN A THOUSAND YEARS [book review & giveaway]

A good friend of mine posed a question to me a couple years ago that has since become a favorite conversation topic of mine with many different people. “In the movie of your life,” she wondered, “what actor would you choose to play you? What about your best friend? What about your love interest? What songs would be on the soundtrack?” It’s fun to think about, isn’t it?

Donald Miller begins the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by writing about when two film producers approached him with the idea of making a movie based on his memoir Blue Like Jazz. His description of the screenwriting process is fascinating. Although the book is taken directly from Don’s own life, the movie is to be a fictional portrayal of the character Don. The struggle he faces is unique: turning the events of his life into a cohesive story that grabs an audience and wraps up in two hours, and along the way coming to terms with the fact that his life is, frankly, quite boring. When Don asked one of the producers if people would be bored if the movie showed his life the way it happened, the reply that came was “I think they’d stab each other in the necks with drinking straws.” But really, all of our lives would probably be pretty boring if they were made into movies. “Life is slower [than film],” he writes. “It’s like we’re all… waiting for something to happen, and every couple months the audience points at the screen and says, ‘Look, that guy’s getting a parking ticket.’”

How many times have I daydreamed about my life-movie? The more I thought about it after reading the first few chapters of A Million Miles, though, the more I realized that the movie in my mind is based on a completely fictional life – one where I wear designer shoes and look like Reese Witherspoon and fall in love with someone who has a British accent, with a charming indie-rock soundtrack following me all the way. But let’s face it, Reese would probably not sign on to do a movie where her character sat around and studied most of the time except when she was taking naps or watching television or e-mailing a friend. If I wanted to make my life into something anyone would pay nine dollars to come watch, it would take some serious editing.

So, most of our lives would not make very exciting movies. What do we take from this? To me, the rest of the book after the initial setup served as a personal challenge. Don weaves elements of his own story in with parts of many other peoples’ to illustrate that the most fulfilling parts of our own lives are those where we made choices to create our own stories; when we consciously point ourselves in a new direction. We’ve got to take risks, we’ve got to learn from other people, and we’ve got to create memorable experiences. Because when you look back on your life, I’m sure you don’t want to see it as one endless cycle of sitting around and eating food and watching television and going to the gym. You’ll want to look back at the time you rode your bike across the country, or took a risk and pursued a relationship with someone, or jumped off a cliff. “There is a force in the world that doesn’t want us to live good stories,” Don writes. “It doesn’t want us to face our issues, to face our fear and bring something beautiful in the world.” We have to overcome our complacency in order to live a bigger life.

This was one of those books that I read at the perfect time. It seemed like every chapter spoke to me directly and encouraged me to live just a little differently. It’s definitely one I’ll keep on my shelf and pull out again sometime soon and I’d highly encourage all of you to read it.

Here’s the exciting part. I got this book from the publisher, Thomas Nelson, and they sent me an extra copy to give away to a friend. So I’m going to give it to one of you. All I’m asking is that you tell me part of your story – something memorable that has happened to you, whether it is funny, or sad, or even if it’s a little bit boring. You can leave it in a comment or e-mail it to me at allisonlott [at] gmail.com. On Friday, I’ll pick someone to win the book. Have fun – and I’m looking forward to hearing your stories.

top five jobs i would rather have: wednesday edition

1. the person who smashes up all the makeup to photograph it for magazines. i think there would be something very therapeutic about pouring out a $55 jar of powder and then smearing a Chanel lipstick across a page. and getting paid for it.

2. game show host. everyone in the world perceives you as a genius when really all you have to do is read a teleprompter. maybe i could take over for alex trebek when he retires? i think "jeopardy host" would look rather impressive on my resume.

3. poet. i wonder how much money william carlos williams made for that red wheelbarrow poem? i could write that in four minutes flat. also, i would not be required to use capital letters, something in which i am clearly not in the mood for today.

4. homeless person. it worked out okay for this girl... and i don't see her slaving away over a pathology textbook until all hours of the night. win/win. and i could get free medical care by just going to my neighborhood ER every time i got a headache, right?

5. the person who writes the labels for vitamin water. i could SO be funnier.