Monday, February 2, 2009

waking up.

Some people love mornings.  When the alarm clock goes off, they jump out of bed, excited about the start of a new day.  I, on the other hand, do not like mornings.  Once I am out of bed, showered, and have coffee I am usually pretty good, but getting there is a huge challenge.  You know in movies when people have an angel one one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder and they're arguing?  It's kind of like that.  Here's how the conversation goes.

6:15 - alarm goes off.
Motivated (and ridiculously optimistic) Allison: It's 6:15!  I'm so glad I decided to wake up early today, this will give me plenty of time to fix my hair, eat a balanced breakfast, and do my daily devotional before arriving to class in plenty of time to be ready to begin learning for the day.
Narcoleptic Allison:  I hate you.  Sleep.  (presses snooze button).

6:23 - radio alarm goes off again.
Narcoleptic Allison:  Has it really been eight whole minutes? 
Motivated Allison: All right! Time to get --
Narcoleptic Allison: (presses snooze and immediately falls back asleep)

6:25 - cell phone alarm goes off from the BATHROOM, where I have strategically placed it to make sure I have to get out of bed to turn it off.
Motivated Allison: If I get up now, I'll still be able to fix my hair with barely enough time.
Narcoleptic Allison:  Okay, we're getting up now.  (walks to the bathroom, grabs phone, gets back in bed, resets alarm with eyes closed, falls back asleep).  

6:31 - radio alarm goes off again.
Motivated Allison: I should definitely get up now so I can pick out my clothes for the day. I bought a new sweater and I'm really excited about wearing it!
Narcoleptic Allison:  I was going to get up this time for sure, but there's a commercial on the radio.  Who wants to wake up to a carpet commercial?  I bet there will be a good song on eight minutes from now.  (snooze again)

6:39 - radio alarm goes off again.
Motivated Allison:  I love this song!  Perfect motivation to get out of bed.  Let's go.
Narcoleptic Allison:  Class starts at 8:00.  It will take me approximately five minutes to drive there if I hit the traffic light.  15 minutes for shower and clothes, 5 minutes to make coffee.  So technically, I could sleep until 7:35. (snooze again) Note: Narcoleptic Allison is really awesome at math.  Even when asleep, she can figure out complex equations relating to timing of morning routines.  

6:45 - cell phone alarm goes off again.
Narcoleptic Allison:  Good thing the phone's in bed with me this time, turning it off is a lot easier. (snoozes the cell phone alarm)

6:47 - radio alarm goes off again.
Motivated Allison:  You are not pressing snooze again.  This is getting ridiculous.  
Narcoleptic Allison:  But - but - 
Motivated Allison:  Do not close your eyes.
Narcoleptic Allison: I'm closing them.
Motivated Allison: NO.

After several minutes of struggle, M.A. usually drags N.A. out of bed.  It's usually a close battle, but so far, M.A. has been able to prevail.  

Does anyone else have a similar morning routine, or is it just me?


Kacie said...

You are weird. However now that I have my iHome I usually lie in bed and listen for like 15 minutes while checking my email on Blackberry before my shower starts. Also sometimes I sing in bed, is that weird?

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrew said...

NOTE: Accidentally was signed on to a friends account, hence the removed post by Emily! Gosh, they should log off when they get on my comp...

Hmmm... I must say I only have one alarm, but the self-conversations are eerily similar. Especially the part about being really good at math when you're having a debate with yourself, even though you're ridiculously tired.

Usually I just wake up within 10 minutes of my alarm after hitting snooze a max of twice... and if I'm not in the shower within that 10 minutes, I mine as well skip class, because I'll be out of it for the rest of the day.

sharon tsay said...

i do this exact same thing. ask henry. :)

Liz said...

you are hilarious. i don't have a narcoleptic alter ego, but I do have a lazy one that has been surprisingly dormant lately.